Had A Bad Day
by way of a vent, a moan and a bit of a downer
Daniel Powter's song sums it up neatly. I'm resisting the urge to play it non-stop. Limiting it to once every half hour. Tops.
Late yesterday they told me I didn't get the promotion I've been chasing for way too long. I guess it was some perverted sense of "keeping face" that made me face up to work today when they were announcing who got the gig. I really didn't want to be there. Didn't help it was the crappiest day I've known there either, far worse and far busier than the three big launches I've been through with them. Being suggested I show some team spirit and take calls after 5 hrs on the floor instead of taking a shortened lunch didn't help - pretty insulting actually. Lots of other little things didn't help, but that's the way things are. I guess I'm tired of keeping a smile on my face for everyone else when I feel my world has just crashed.
I really wanted to rage today - in the original sense of the world - rage at the unfairness of it all, rage at the futility, rage at the background that implanted that damned "Protestant Work Ethic" that makes me just get down and do the job without showing off or ringing my own bell. I feel angry and hurt and battered and I can't afford to show it. That's maybe the worst thing.
Time to hit the publish button before I delete this, and time to play that song again. Nothing like wallowing in your misery every now and then.
4 comments:
Hmmm, wanted to talk with you about that but thought it was a bad idea, considering the mood of you, me and the whole damn world.
Tough call on the job thing, but you know what? You're not defined by your job, but by the person you are - and you're awesome.
Sorry S..
Thanks hon, needed that.
Actually I thought I covered my mood reasonably well, not that anyone was noticing much. Only came close to losing it at K's pre-emptive email (thank God for Shanny having a smoke downstairs.)
Writing up my app for SAM at the moment. Gotta get the f*ck outa there.
Mate, you have more than a work ethic and its only natural to feel the rage, I too have been disappointed many times than I care to remember in that place and I can somewhat feel what you may be going through. You are more than just a puppet on a string because of your work ethic; I really hope that this does not discourage you from being who you are MR… More people in the place respect you for whom you really are and will still respect you even though the TL title has eluded you. I for one feel you show great leadership in allowing your feelings to be known and hope that this episode of playschool does not discourage you from taking a chance. I may not smoke at the moment but that does not mean I don’t like the fresh air lets do lunch.
Slim, the "unending devotion" has proven the maxim that nothing lasts forever. It has ended.
As for you understanding it, well, I seem to remember a time you loved your job. You just got over it quicker. The resilience of youth perhaps.
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