What went wrong along the way

2008-04-02T19:55:00.002+11:00

a year or so down the track

OK, a new look,and let's try for a new start Last year was a really piss-poor effort at maintaining this blog. Here's hoping a new attitude towards it to go along with the new layout might just keep things moving.
A quick overview of the last year or so . . . . .
In short, last year was pretty crap. Work was on the whole unpleasant at best, otherwise discouraging, disheartening and depressing (no apologies for the alliteration . . . and does that have one t or two? Anybody?) There was one good thig about work - Salesforce. A 6 month secondment that kept me going, reminded me that work can be fun, that working hard doesn't need to equate to exhaustion and depression. Some new friends made there too that a year later are still going strong. But it was only six months.
This year (hey, have I really just done last year in one short paragraph. Can I afford to have a whole year mean so little? No, the second half seems a waste, the Salesforce half-year I may just have to get back to later, that was something rather special. I think maybe I need to focus more on that good part of 2007.)
Try again - this year. Hmmm, this year. If I thought work last year was crap then the last two months must be hell. A new computer system introduced, inadequately and often innacurately trained, under-tested, in many ways ill-conceived, no it has not been fun. It has been frustrating and highy stressful. It has been improved, slightly. We are slowly learning our way around its quirks and shortcomings but I don't think too many people have stopped cursing it yet. There have been far too many tears, too many outbursts, but there have also been new bonds forged, new appreciation of people's abilities. Maybe I will look back at it as an interesting time. It's too recent and too raw for that yet. And it ain't over yet, not by a long shot.
On a more personal level, because this year is NOT going to be dominated by work - are you listening here Simon, that is not an option, there is a life to be lived out there and time is drifting on - the year didn't start too well, an old friend walked (emailed actually) himself out of my life in about six short words. I removed another less important friend from my life, less abruptly. I cannot be fussed with the lying, the bullying, and most of all the illegal dealings that I could no longer pretend were not going on. But life sometimes (often in fact) seems to balance itself out, and there's a new friend seems to have come along. Thats a brand new one. There's another couple taht have been growing over the last few months. Sometimes all you have to do is open your eyes and maybe your heart.
A couple of highlights - The Wedding, of course. And my oldest and dearest friend's 30th Anniversary - yup 30 years, not bad. And the people they dragged out of the woodwork! But how great to sit at table with peole I haven't seen in years, and pick up the conversation like it had only been a week A certain little trip I won to Sydney to spend the day on set with Hugh Jackman (I'm sorry, did you really think I wasn't going to mention that? C'mon!) The movie ball, catching up with the gorgeous Kang and walking round half the night holding hands with her. If anybody noticed it could have ruined my reputation. Christmas with the family, more relaxed than ever before, my neice taking the role of matriarch with more and more confidence, she is taking over my mother's role of fiercely holding the family together, but with a much greater sense of humour about the whole thing. And her son, my great-nephew, growing into a fine and intelligent young man. Sundays at Brighton continue - they have to, John and I haven't sorted the world out yet, even after 36 years.
Hang on, did'nt I say someting before about getting a life back. That almost sounds like I was having one all along and I just didn't notice it. Hmmm

2007-09-16T20:18:00.000+10:00

BACK AGAIN
Hmm, only two posts this year. Not good. But then, I'm not the type to post when things aren't all that good. That kind of explains the tag at the top of the Blog. First half of this year wound up being good. I got out of the awful situation at work, and lucky enough to do it without resigning or anythng drastic, just lucky enough to wrangle a secondment to a part of the business that suited me right down to the ground.
That finished, as all good things do. But it finished well, and I returned to the home office and a new department - much the same job, but a different manager, different approach, different expectations. Three motnhs there, and I'm not sure now how apt that little quote up the top of the page is any more. But it's going to stay there for a bit yet. As a reminder.

I've just had one of the best weekends in a long long time. My first two day weekend in about a month, and until Thursday it looked like being quiet and uneventful.
Well things change.
Finished work at 8.00 Friday, and a short walk across the junction to M & D's. They get married in three weeks, so a lot of the evening was about that, mostly trying to find a song for the happy couple to walk down the non-existent aisle to. It's a symbolic moment, and one of those times that it really does have to be exactly the right choice of music. Fun going through D's music, throwing totally inapropriate selections at M in the other room, as much for the joke as to get any response that might indicate the direction to take. Looks like the song is chosen. I'm not sure its the version I would go for, but hey, it ain't my wedding. Nice to be part of the process though, really nice, flattering, and reassuring. Funny how even in a friendship where you have no cause to doubt it's solidity - where you don't even consider there is cause to doubt - being included in something like that just makes you feel even better about it all. Kinda warm and fuzzy.
Then it was time to go, and M. said "you gotta read this, you'll love it" and pressed a book in my hand. I have to say it didn't look promising. I started reading it on the train today heading down to visit the oldest and dearest friend. I was moist eyed after the first two paragraphs. Told him to read the first two paragraphs. Instant moist eyes, and I wasn't sure for a moment I was ver going to get the book back. Twenty minutes reading on the train, and I kid you not, I was salivating. Now it is a food book, but British home-cooking in the fifties by a mum who sounds like a bad cook. The salivating was no so much what was being described, but the memories it evoked. My mum was not a bad cook - I have yet to taste a sponge cake that approaches her's - and a lot of the brands-names are obviously different, but it's so close to what I grew up with. It's a strange coincidence, but the sort I've come to almost expect where M. is concerned. She has no idea, but it was Mum's birthday last week, a day that gets to me far more than the anniversary of her death, and the book set me off on a whole lot of memories, good ones. The sort that tie in with what that book says in the opening paragraph about how you can't help but love a person who makes you toast in the morning.
By the way, the book is Nigel Slater's "Toast."
Other good things on the weekend - went to DFO, the outlet mall in the city, walked right around it, popped into every men's wear. Had a very clear idea of the trousers I wanted. No luck. Got back to where I started, for some reason decided to go back into the first store I'd checked out. A tiny section I hadn't noticed, and one pair only, my size, exacty what I 've been looking for the last couple of months. Then four blocks across town to the cinema, and Hairspray" possibly the best feel-good film in a long long time. Great fun, toe-tapping music, walked out floating. That just doesn't happen often enough.
Today, down to the Oldest and Dearest, as mentioned above. As always, great time. We talk non-stop, everything from politics, through musicals, film, TV, sex (or our lack of it), families, travel, you name it we go there, fearlessly. I think maybe 35 years of knowing each other, plus a bottle or two of wine helps.
Now its Sunday night, I'm pleasantly slightly under the influence, feeling good about the world - real good, more than I have for a while and I like that, and I'm grateful. And most of it is thanks to friends. I'm blessed there, for sure.

2007-05-17T20:48:00.000+10:00

Been a while, but tagged by Mel again.
(Almost) 50 Things About Me
1.WHO WERE YOU NAMED AFTER? My parents were convinced I was going to be a girl (no smart comments OK) and I was meant to be Sally Ann. My mother thought of Simon in the hospital, ad that was it. She never knew why she thought of it.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? The day Bonita told me she’d resigned from work.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I hate it.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Mortadella pepper.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Just the Barney boy who refuses to accept he’s a dog, puts up with everything, and offers unbounded devotion in exchange for food and a cuddle,
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF? I’d have to be very patient if I was.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Wouldn’t cross my mind.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No. They went when I was bout 6.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Only if you’ll go with me.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Weet-Bix.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yep.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Most of the time no.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cocolate chip.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Face.
15. RED OR PINK? Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My procrastination.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Mum and Dad.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Absolutely. Everyone.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans, blue and grey sneakers
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Chopped up banana and ice-cream (dessert) 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Jamie Cullum “20 Something”
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Coconut or fresh coriander
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? One of the contractors at work.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Of course. Who could not like Miss Melly.
*there is no 26
27. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Tennis and diving.
28. HAIR COLOR? Its grey now, but it was dark bown once
29. EYE COLOR? Brown
30. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Sometimes
31. FAVORITE FOOD? Pad Thai at The Balcony in Bangkok (sorry Mel, I had to get Thailand in somewhere)
32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I’’m an old sook. Happy Endings
33. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? On TV “”Memoirs of a Geisha” (prett to look at). At the movies “300” (liked it a lot)
34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING??? Red and navy t-shirt
35. SUMMER OR Winter? Summer.
36. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Sticky Date Pudding
38. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Be lucky if anyone bothers.
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Most everybody. Well, you see, Mel has already done it . .
40. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? “Jasmine Nights” by S.P.Somtow
41. ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Haven’t you heard of a laser mouse?
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Nigella nothing
43. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOUND? Rain
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
45. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? The U.K. – its about as far as you can get geographically. In terms of most different, soiritually, culturally etc, Cambodia.
46. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes. Being me
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Melbourne, Australia
48. WHO'S ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK. Anybody’s – I ain’t choosy.

2007-01-15T22:04:00.000+11:00

SMART BIRD

Someone left a KFC chip bucket at the bus-stop, with a drink can jammed into it. Just sitting on the bench. I'm sitting there, watching a blackbird trying very hard to get something out of one of the holes near the bottom. It was wary, hopping forward and pecking, but getting nothing. Trying both sides, still no luck. Pecked a little too hard and the bucket rocked, frightening the bird. It flapped a few feet away, then watched as the bucket settled down. Walked up to it again, cautiously, tried another peck, nothing. A harder peck, and it wobbled again. Cocked his head for a moment, looking at it, then suddenly flapped up, landed on top for a moment, then off again. Just enough to topple it, clear off the bench.
In a flash the can popped out, the bird swooped, and before the bucket had even come to rest, the bird was flying off, one large chip firmly in its beak.

I love birds. But sometimes they just seem too damned smart. Swear they'll take over one of these days.

2007-01-02T21:10:00.000+11:00

TRADITION !

One of the all-time great musicals starts off with a song all about Tradition. Probably don’t really need to tell you which one, but just in case, it’s Fiddler on the Roof. Fiddler itself has nothing to do with what I’m writing about, but that opening song does.

I realised over this last “Festive Season” how important traditions can be. Now I’m not even talking about the kind of traditions they’re singing about in that song, not the ones religion or community develops, but the personal ones, the ones we establish for ourselves.

Some of them are common at this time of year – like putting the Christmas cards on the mantel-piece. Some I’m sure are shared. Like Carols by Candlelight. For me it’s simply not Christmas Eve without it. Used to be I’d settle down surrounded by wrapping paper and cards and presents, and spend the night carefully wrapping everything. It was the first really calming thing at Christmas, knowing it was too late to do anything else, no more shopping, no more worrying about what to buy for who. Just taking my time to make sure everything looked as good as I could possibly make it, and I used to go to town with the wrapping.

Seems my family don’t do presents much any more. Well, the Family Christmas is the week before anyway, now that the folks aren’t around any more, and the various kids are so torn between separated parents that the week before is the only time we can all get together. And we do kris Kringle now, no more everybody buying for everybody. It works well, really well. I guess that’s a new tradition come to think of it. And a sensible and successful one it is too.
So I don’t sit in front of the telly wrapping presents. But I still watch Carols bt Candlelight. It’s like old friends in a way, the people who turn up that you don’t see for the rest of the year. Even more than the performers it’s the songs. Pretty much the same ones each year, but that’s part of what makes it Christmas. That continuity. There must be parents bringing their kids along who were taken by their parents 20 years ago. It’s part of Melbourne, and it’s part of my Christmas.

Christmas Day is still full sit-down dinner. Not with the Family, but with the extended family, the one I’ve chosen. Funny, but we seem to talk about Christmases-past more there than we do with my family. Another new tradition, well no, not really new, just an old one that’s evolved into something a bit different, but every bit as special.

I don’t really do New Years Eve any more. Don’t like the drunken crowds – don’t much like sober ones even. I stay home. But again, TV – watch the fireworks, open the window to see the ones going up from the park out the back, tell the dog it’s all OK. Then my private New Years moment, the first song for the year. It’s always the same one. Has been for about 25 years I guess. ABBA – Happy New Year. Not very original, but just right.

Somewhere around New Years we seem to get the Last Night of the Proms on the telly too. Now that one really gets me. Every bloody time. Starts around about when they do the Hornpipe, you know, the one they start slow, then get faster and faster and impossibly faster. The audience are bobbing or clapping or stamping and tooting along. Love it. And Rule Brittania, and Land of Hope and Glory. I sing along with the best of them (it’s OK, the dog is an uncomplaining audience, he even seems to like it). It gets to me, because its wonderful, but also because it’s a constant Its reassuring that some things do actually stay the same, year after year. And at the start of another year, with all that we may hope will come, all that we hope will be different, I for one need to know that some things will not change.

2006-12-28T22:12:00.000+11:00

Christmas Weekend #2

Happy to report all went well.
Saturday night at Melly’s was great fun, excellent egg-nog so hard to resist, sangria, champagne cocktails, Dusty’s gingerbread. The inner man well looked after.
Entertainment provided rated a high mark of appreciation as well, much bowling and tennis on the UII. Tennis I was fine just playing with one hand, but for some reason I couldn’t do the bowling without going down in full bowling stance. Result, sore thigh muscles. At least I can remember why.
And of course there was the company, friendly, warm, comfortable.

Sunday to relax, sleep in, make sure everything is ready for the Big Day. Watched Carols By Candlelight as always. Not quite the same without wrapping lots of presents for the now-grown-up kids, but hey, the dog likes it when I sing along to anything. There’s something reassuring about how predictable it is, yet occasionally it manages to surprise us. The Newton Family all up there singing together kinda got to me, bit of a lump in the throat. So, I’m an old softy? I don’t mind that so much.

Monday and dinner once again at the oldest and dearest’s – oldest friend that is. Again, comfortable, relaxed, happy. Catching up after another year with Claire and her son Nicholas – who's taller (funny how teenagers do that over the course of a year), both of them definitely Good Value. (small in-joke). Time in there too to remember those who aren’t with us any more, there were a few losses this year unfortunately. Best of all with old friends is how much doesn’t need to be said – the shorthand of familiarity I guess. Just alluding to something (like “Good Value”) can trigger off so much, and a look or a quick smile confirms you’re thinking the same thing. Catch-phrases, and funnily enough talked about them with Mel out on the balcony Saturday night. There is nothing like old friends. Nothing. And no better way to spend Christmas.

Tuesday Boxing Day was a wash-out. No point dwelling on it. But friendship meant sticking it out and I fulfilled my obligations.

And that’s the Festive Season over till next year. Don’t even bother to ask me about New Years, doesn’t count for much as far as I’m concerned, just another number. Seen enough of them, won’t see another turn of century and its damned hard to top that, so it’s really just time to buy a new calendar and diary. Oh, and it’s three days off work.

2006-12-27T20:53:00.001+11:00

Standing at the bus stop this morning. Middle-aged lady comes up, puts her shopping bag down on the seat, looks around, and asks;
“Is this the bus-stop?”
“Yes.”
Fifteen second pause.
“It’s not the station?”
No, it’s the bus stop.”
Thirty second pause.
“You’re SURE it’s not the station?”
“Yes – the station is up the road where the train goes, this is the bus-stop.”
Lady turns away, muttering, shaking her head. Eats a banana (I’m not kidding) occasionally loking at me and shaking her head. Obviously doesn’t believe me. I feel like reminding her you need train tracks for a train . . . .
The bus comes. She looks relieved, but I get one more scowl from her as she boards the bus.

2006-12-17T22:50:00.000+11:00

Christmas Weekend #1

Well, Christmas started this weekend.
Friday was the work Xmas Party. A bit glamourous really, 17th floor of a swish new building in the middle of the city, fancy ballroom, with a pretty amazing terrace with great views. A few hundred of the people from work, some rather more successful than others at trying to look suave and sophisticated, most of them just there to have a good time. Despite my best announced intentions that it was time I misbehaved at the office party, I didn't. Dammit.

Xmas function #2 was today. The family lunch. Not thank goodness the usual full turkey, ham, and plum pudding. BBQ and salads, good wines (can always rely on that at my brother's house) and all the family, with two new additions this year, my nephew from Sydney has moved down with his gorgeous French-Canadian wife. She works in a cheese store, and brought the cheese platter. French cheeses (funny that) - two goats cheese, a a semi-soft and a soft (delicious), a hard goats/sheeps cheese (very subtle, very yum) and a runny cows milk cheese that looked like a brie that had been wrapped in brown cardboard, but tasted like nothing I've ever had, incredibly smooth and creamy, with a slightly sharp edge and a taste that lingered and changed like a good wine. I declared it to be the new love of my life.
Traditionally it has been my task
to make the plum pudding. I got brave this year, and made plum pudding ice-cream instead. Far more sensible in a Melbourne summer. First try, and not entirely successful. It didn't exactly freeze properly, but tasted just like it was meant to, and went like a dream with the selection of berries my sister-in-law provided and the dessert wine my brother chose.
It was a wonderfully relaxed day, my brother unusually in a very chatty mood, the "kids" stealing my cigarettes. Memories of me not smoking in front of my mother when my nephew dragged me out to the back of the garden because he doesn't smoke in front of his father. My great nephew almost in tears because he thought we thought he'd been watching South Park, when we trying to tell him he should be watching it. Nice that my nephews asked me if I was seeing anyone - nice that they don't think I 'm too old for that, and nice that they want me to be seeing someone. Nice that we can all relax, because no-one is torn between seperated parents and getting kids off to their absent parent - that's why we do it the weekend before. No stress. It's OUR day. Nice that we can all talk about all the family that aren't around for Christmas any more, and talk without sadness, just remembering all those other Christmases when the family was bigger, and the kids really were kids, not the grown-ups and parents they are now. Nicest of all that for at least one day a year we can really be a family.

2006-12-09T09:01:00.000+11:00

Can't hardly wait

After all, it's only taken 25 years for someone to get around to filming it.
25 years of anticipation . . . . thank god it looks like it just might be worth the wait.

More clips here

2006-11-26T11:06:00.000+11:00

Unfair
It’s a nice face to look at.
Great smile, starts as a crinkle around the eyes, and blossoms from there.
Infectious laugh, just bursts out, like the snatches of song when he’s concentrating.
Sad songs, he loves them, but sings along with unbridled joy, as if the sadness could never touch him. And you hope it never will.
Plays the piano too.
And cooks like a dream.
He’s funny, makes me laugh.
Seems to understand my jokes too. If he doesn’t he at least knows when he’s meant to laugh.
Intelligent enough to be able to discuss more than Britney’s marital exploits.
Perfect match? Yeah.
Except he’s only 20, dammit.

2006-11-24T13:56:00.000+11:00

Strange ad from Denmark - can't figure what it's selling!

http://www.oliveroggeden.dk/

2006-11-22T15:45:00.000+11:00

TAGGED:Three Meme

1. Three things that scare me:
Goverments
Spiders
Accidents

2. Three people that make me laugh:
Melly
the lady in Hong Kong cafe
my nephew

3. Three things I hate the most:
Arrogance
Prejudice
Violence

4. Three things I don't understand:
Quantum theory
Myself
Fundamentalism

5. Three things I'm doing right now:
Thinking about getting dressed and going out into the sunshine
Drinking the fourth cup of coffee today
Listening to “Grey Gardens” Broadway cast album

6. Three things I want to do before I die:
the Grand Tour of Europe
Live in Thailand for at least a year
Retire

7. Three things I can do:
Smile
Survive
Enjoy

8. Three ways to describe my personality:
Reticent
Kind
Loyal

9. Three things I can't do:
Stop smoking
Get motivated
Sing (but I love to do it)

10. Three things I think you should listen to:
Other people
music
the birds in the morning

11. Three things you should never listen to:
Other people
prejudice
politicians

12. Three things I'd like to learn:
Thai
How to stop smoking
To be brave

13. Three favourite foods:
potatoes
Pad Thai
Pasta carbonara

14. Three beverages I drink regularly:
Coffee
Coffee
Beer

15. Three shows I watched as a kid:
Adventures in Paradise
Disneyland
The Lawman

16. Three people I'm tagging (to do this):
Mel’s beaten me to them

2006-11-12T09:54:00.000+11:00

I think I want to see this

2006-09-06T10:34:00.000+10:00

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

2006-07-20T08:24:00.000+10:00

WHAT NEXT ?

"Evil Dead: The Musical unearths the old familiar story," reveals a press release, "boy and friends take a weekend getaway at abandoned cabin, boy expects to get lucky, boy unleashes ancient evil spirit, friends turn into Candarian Demons, boy fights until dawn to survive."

Songs like "All the Men in my Life Keep Getting Killed by Candarian Demons," "Look Who's Evil Now" and "Do the Necronomicon"

2006-07-18T19:29:00.000+10:00

three strikes and . . .

; two months in a position and I don't get confirmed.
; apply for another position, interviewed, not successful.
; apply for a third position, don't even get an interview.

Am I getting an increasingly unsubtle message somewhere here?

2006-07-12T09:46:00.000+10:00

50 Questions I Had To Answer

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7am – and that was a sleep-in on my RDO.
2. Diamonds or Pearls? I'm looking after my mother's pearls cos no-one else in the family wants to, my niece has her diamonds. I wear a sapphire, black, yellow star.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? King Kong
4. What are your favourite TV shows? Great Food Live - obligatory viewing. I suspect I am Jeni Barnett's greatest fan.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Been a Weet-Bix kid all my life.
6. What is your middle name? Geoffrey
7. What is your favourite cuisine? Thai - Lanna Thai (northern) if I had to be specific
8. What foods do you dislike? those curries where everything is brown
9. Your favourite Potato chip? Plain.
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Katie Melua "Call Off The Search"
11. What kind of car do you drive? Daihatsu
12. Favourite sandwich? Tomato, cheese and vegemite - the cheese has to go between the tomato and vegemite or it all stains brown
13. What characteristics do you despise? lack of consideration
14. What are your favourite clothes? Sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I always answer Thailand, but Portugal would probably win at the moment if I had the money and the time.
16. What colour is your bathroom? A particularly nasty dull blue.
17. Favourite brand of clothing? Probably Armani, but I can't afford it.
18. Where would you want to retire to? Jomtien, Thailand.
19. Where you born? St Andrew's East Melbourne (now the Peter McCallum Cancer Clinic)
20. Favourite sport to watch? Tennis, diving, gymnastics
21. Who do you least expect to do this / send it back? JP
22. Person you expect to send it back first? She already did it.
23. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi
24. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night Owl forced to live as a day person.
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? We've passed the Winter Solstice.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? An Archeologist.
27. What is your best childhood memory? My grandma's scones.
28. What are the different jobs you have had or do in your life? Film Crew, Quarry Labourer, Usher, Barman, Retail Manager, Stage Manager, Travel Agent
29. Nicknames? Denny - only one I've ever answered to.
30. How many Piercing? None
31. Eye Colour? Dark Brown
32. Ever been to Africa? Not yet
33. Ever been toilet papering? Not sure just what that involves, so I guess its a NO.
34. Been in a car accident? Three
35. Favourite day of the week? Sunday
36. Favourite restaurant? The Lanna Thai restaurant opposite my hotel in Bangkok, doesn't have an tranlateable name
37. Favourite flower? Rose
38. Favourite fast food restaurant? Sorry - KFC
39. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Sat it once at 18, hung on to it ever since (touch wood)
40. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Not counting all the ads for porn sites and Viagra ? Would have been best friend John, letting me know Jane Powell had died.
41. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? No contest - JB Hi Fi.
42. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire. Whoever bothers to do it.
43. Last person you went to dinner with? The family, Topolino's in St Kilda, Sunday.
44. What are you listening to right now? The magpies in the park across the road.
45. What is your favourite colour? Blue.
46. How many tattoos do you have? None, so far.
50. How many people are you sending this to? Not sending it, it's just here for anyone who wants it.

2006-07-04T20:22:00.000+10:00

Just did a few more of those quizzes.

Apparently I am
;A Fierce Femme
;A Romantic Date
;A Tiny Tease
;29% Bitchy
;A Passionate Kisser

I should live in Rome.

Men see me as desirable.

I Don't Have a Boyfriend Because I'm Too Shy

I Should Be Dating A Swede.

I am no Drama Queen.

And I don't need a man - but I want one.

OK . . .

2006-07-04T07:13:00.000+10:00

You Are Bad Girl Sexy

Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot.
You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on.
And your badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you.
Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is.

What Kind of Sexy Are You?

I answered this truthfully, honest I did.

So I have to wonder where this bad-girl stuff coes from, I mean - ME ??

Of course, if I really was a girl . . . . :-)

2006-06-28T12:50:00.000+10:00

Skating Cowboys

loved this.
thought of Melly for some reason . . .

2006-06-28T10:15:00.000+10:00

Second Love

random memories;

First meeting Scott at tap-class, trying to master a basic time-step. Laughing a lot, falling all over each other, something curiously comfortable from the start, his then girlfriend suspicious from the beginning. But me not suspecting - or expecting - anything. I can be so easily blinded by a girlfriend.
Scott sharing my bed for weeks during rehearsal, the physical comfort we shared not transferring there, enjoying the closeness, but wanting more, not believing it could happen.
Making love the first time, his face covered in an oat-meal face mask.
Making love the last time, in Sydney, knowing it was the last time. Bitter sweet but cherished memory.
Talking, all the time.
The notes left on the table in the morning. I still have them.
The pride watching him on-stage opening night.
The overwhelming, overpowering ache of loving someone so much.
Holding hands.
Seeing each other after a few weeks apart, feeling everything is right with the world again.
Cooking for two.
Holding him when his world was not going right.
Being told I was loved.
Most of all, knowing I was loved.

2006-06-27T16:51:00.000+10:00

MY ONE AND ONLY SOCCER POST

So we didn’t win.
But we got further than we ever have before.
Hell, we got further than anyone expected we would.
It’s not as if we played badly.
So shouldn’t we just be celebrating what they did achieve, and thinking “maybe next time . . . “

2006-06-21T10:58:00.000+10:00

So, today is the Southern Winter Solstice. I much prefer to call it the Shortest Day of the Year. That sorta makes me feel the day will go quicker, and implies that now the days start getting longer it will get warmer. Both those assumptions are crap of course. It seems slightly ironic that work is really dragging, and it sure isn’t gonna feel like a short day. And while it was all of 5C when I headed off to work this morning, an improvement of 1.5 on the last couple of days, I know that is just a teaser. August is our coldest month. Its downhill till then.
I guess Mother Nature just likes to remind us she is anything but logical.

2006-05-30T20:00:00.000+10:00

So here's what you do - go to Wikipedia and pop in the date you were born, leave out the year for a broader selection of interesting facts.
Then you post - Three Facts. Two Births. One Death.
FACTS:
1879 - Using a filament of carbonized thread, Thomas Edison tests the first practical electric incandescent light bulb (it lasted 13 1/2 hours before burning out). And where would be if he hadn't done that? Even more in the dark than we are now.
1945 - Argentine military officer and politician Juan Perón married actress Evita. And if they hadn't, then Andrew Lloyd Webber wouldn't have written all those musicals. I leave it to you if this a good thing or a bad thing.
1983 - The metre is defined at the seventeenth General Conference on Weights and Measures in terms of the speed of light as the distance light travels in a vacuum in 1/299,792,458 of a second. I never knew that! LOVE useless useful information.
BIRTHS
1833 - Alfred Nobel, Swedish inventor and founder of the Nobel Prize (d. 1896) Yeah, don't mind this one.
1956 - Carrie Fisher, American actress and writer Great. I share my birthday with Princess Leia.
DEATH
1805 - Horatio Nelson, British admiral (mortally wounded in battle) (b. 1758) Battle of Trafalgar of course. Britain ruled the waves for a century or so as a result, and of course London got Trafalgar Square, and the world got "Kiss me Hardy."

2006-05-26T20:19:00.000+10:00

You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

2006-05-23T06:18:00.000+10:00

Song of Perfect Propriety
(A little Dorothy Parker to start the day.)

Oh, I should like to ride the seas,
A roaring buccaneer;
A cutlass banging at my knees,
A dirk behind my ear.
And when my captives' chains would clank
I'd howl with glee and drink,
And then fling out the quivering plank
And watch the beggars sink.

I'd like to straddle gory decks,
And dig in laden sands,
And know the feel of throbbing necks
Between my knotted hands.
Oh, I should like to strut and curse
Among my blackguard crew....
But I am writing little verse,
As little ladies do.

Oh, I should like to dance and laugh
And pose and preen and sway,
And rip the hearts of men in half,
And toss the bits away.
I'd like to view the reeling years
Through unastonished eyes,
And dip my finger-tips in tears,
And give my smiles for sighs.

I'd stroll beyond the ancient bounds,
And tap at fastened gates,
And hear the prettiest of sound-
The clink of shattered fates.
My slaves I'd like to bind with thongs
That cut and burn and chill....
But I am writing little songs,
As little ladies will.

(Not to be taken too literally of course, just a gentle (?) rant against propriety and the imposition of society's expectations.)

2006-05-20T08:10:00.000+10:00

PATTI LuPONE

On receiving a Tony nomination for her performance as Mrs. Lovett in the revival of Sweeney Todd at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre, New York.

Q: What does being nominated mean to you?
LuPone: It's a relief ! [Laughs.] It's almost like it's a validation of your performance. You don't want it to be that, but it feels like you're accepted. It feels like your performance has been stamped with approval.

Love this lady, she's one of the biggest names on Broadway. I was lucky enough to have seen her in "Evita," she's been nominated (and won) before.

This just gets me as a refreshingly honest comment.

2006-05-17T18:53:00.000+10:00

Had A Bad Day
by way of a vent, a moan and a bit of a downer

Daniel Powter's song sums it up neatly. I'm resisting the urge to play it non-stop. Limiting it to once every half hour. Tops.
Late yesterday they told me I didn't get the promotion I've been chasing for way too long. I guess it was some perverted sense of "keeping face" that made me face up to work today when they were announcing who got the gig. I really didn't want to be there. Didn't help it was the crappiest day I've known there either, far worse and far busier than the three big launches I've been through with them. Being suggested I show some team spirit and take calls after 5 hrs on the floor instead of taking a shortened lunch didn't help - pretty insulting actually. Lots of other little things didn't help, but that's the way things are. I guess I'm tired of keeping a smile on my face for everyone else when I feel my world has just crashed.
I really wanted to rage today - in the original sense of the world - rage at the unfairness of it all, rage at the futility, rage at the background that implanted that damned "Protestant Work Ethic" that makes me just get down and do the job without showing off or ringing my own bell. I feel angry and hurt and battered and I can't afford to show it. That's maybe the worst thing.
Time to hit the publish button before I delete this, and time to play that song again. Nothing like wallowing in your misery every now and then.

2006-05-16T18:52:00.000+10:00

My Life In Song

Put your media player onto shuffle, and let it answer the following questions for you:
Stolen from Rob & his missus, and tagged by Melly.

How does the world see me?
”Smile” – Dianne Reeves “you could smile away the storm clouds” – it’s for sure the way I’d like the world to see me.

Will I have a happy life?
”Si tu supieras” – Alejandro Fernandez Translates as “if you knew.” If indeed !

What do my friends really think of me?
”Solitaire” – The Carpenters. They obviously know me too well.

Do people secretly lust after me?
”Ice Cream” – Sarah McLachlan “better than ice-cream, better than anything else I’ve ever tried.” Really ?

How can I make myself happy?
”Et j’attends” (and I wait) – Leslie. Now that’s seriously depressing.

What should I do with my life?
”Devil’s right hand” – Steve Earle (“Brokeback Mountain” soundtrack), Now the song is about a pistol – that last one wasn’t that depressing. Or maybe cos its from “Brokeback” it just means I should go out and find me a cowboy ( mmmm . . . . Jake !)

Will I ever have children?
”Goodbye My Lover” – James Blunt. I would take that as a resounding no.

What is some good advice for me?
”What About Me”- Moving Pictures. Oh Boy! Melly if they sent out the email at work today you’ll understand just how much this one freaks me out !

How will I be remembered?
”Somewhere My Love” – Andy Williams (theme from Dr Zhivago). Errrmmmm, I hate to say it but it kinda fits. Always hoping. And no, I’m NOT ashamed this is on my playlist.

What is my signature song?
”Canta corazon” (the heart sings) – Alejandro Fernandez.

What type of men/women do I like?
”Flying Purple People Eater” – Sheb Woolley. Ohh gimme a break! This thing is out to get me.

What is my day going to be like?
”Starting Here, Starting Now” – Barbra Streisand. “the greatest journey heaven can allow.” I swear I’m not fiddling this

What do I think my current theme song is?
”These Walls” – Teddy Geiger “everything seemed OK when I started out the other day, now the rain came pouring down and I’m drowning in my fears” Hits the nail right on the head today.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
”Blackbird” – Sarah Mclachlin. Yeah, figures. They would.

What song will play at my funeral?
”Ti Amo” (I Love You) – Umberto Tozzi It’d be OK so long as everyone sang along – even nicer if they meant it.

2006-05-15T22:02:00.000+10:00

MERAPI

So, Mt.Merapi, after 11 ½ years of quiet, is flexing its muscles again, and looks like a major eruption is imminent.
Ten years ago I went to the magical island of Java for the first time. I started out intending to go to Bali for a few days, then on to Jogyakarta for the main purpose of the visit – the temples of Borabadur and Prambanan. Spent most of the flight thinking “I don’t want to go to Bali” so on arrival at Denpasar I walked over to the domestic terminal and caught the first flight to Jogya.
We circled over Jogya a few times before landing, and the soaring towers of Prambanan were easy to pick out from the air. Borabadur was impossible to pick out.
Two days later when I visited it at sunrise I could see why. While Hindu Prambanan soars and lifts the spirit, Buddhist Borabadur is of the earth, solidly and massively grounded. It is the climb up through walled in corridors lined with bas-reliefs, the symbolic effort of getting to the top, that uplifts the spirit. And at the top, finally, open space. It feels incredibly high up, the surrounding plain lush with ripening rice paddies and clumps of forest, rimmed by soft grey hills, and dominating it all Merapi, my first active volcano, a perfect cone with a peaceful seeming plume of smoke rising straight up in the still morning air, a quietly powerful and awesome presence.

Bayu. the young man on the front desk at the hotel had for some reason taken quite a fancy to me (but that’s another story) and the next day he took me up the mountain.
The 30k drive was glorious, through the rice paddies and into the forest at the foot of the mountain, climbing up through the lush green jungle to the beautiful, neat little hill resort of Kaliorang where we hired a guide to take us up the mountain.
It was cooler there than on the plains, no breeze, but a cloudy day, so only a gentle light filtering through the trees, unseen birds singing to a constant undertone of water dripping off the leaves. Our guide, a tiny, wiry man of middle-age set off with a crate of soft-drink on his head, a clutch of umbrellas under is arm. We climbed for about two hours, there was a gem of a tiny, moss-covered waterfall we stopped at about half-way, glad of that crate of soft-drink. Soon after it started to rain, gentle and warm, and we were glad of his umbrellas. How I wish I had a photo of that faintly ludicrous image I treasure of the three of us climbing a volcano, gentleman’s umbrellas resolutely held high.
After two hours we found ourselves with a group of a dozen or so other climbers on a ledge perched high above a mist filled valley. The end of the climb as it turned out. The clouds were so low you felt you could reach up and touch them, but that meant the rest of the trail was too dangerous. Where we had so far been climbing around the mountain, a comparatively easy hike, from this point on it was a narrow trail on the crest of a ridge, then on the steep side of the upper cone, the lack of visibility and the wet slippery path too dangerous for tourists.
Still, the view was stunning, and something about knowing we were perched on the side of a volcano meant everyone was speaking, if at all, in subdued tones. I found myself almost wishing Merapi would grumble or belch a reminder she was there underneath and above us. Suddenly our guide started talking, quietly but rapidly. I had to wait for Bayu to translate. The guide was telling us that a year ago that day he had been sitting at this very spot with a group of tourists when Merapi blew her top. The flow of superheated gas that killed 60 people went down the other side of the mountain, but they fled down through falls of ash. Somehow I was glad Merapi held her peace that day.

2006-05-09T21:37:00.000+10:00

Gypsy and me.

Got to talking the other day, and happened to mention my one and only appearance on the professional stage. Got to thinking on the way home it might be worth blogging about. Got to thinking about when I got home, and came to realise it linked to a few other memories, and the common link was "Gypsy."
Now any of you died in the wool music-theatre buffs will of course realise that "Gypsy" is one of the all-time greats of America's only truly original contribution to the performing arts - the Musical. Written back in the 'fifties by Jule Styne for the ubiquitous Ethel Merman, it quickly reached such legendary status that it seemed no would ever dare perform it again. Filmed not entirely successfully with Rosalind Russell, I figured for years that was going to be my only chance to see it. I loved it from the first time I heard I heard the drum roll and blaring brass at the start and end of what is arguably the best overture written for a musical.
Skip a few years. I've finished college, and am determined to work in the theatre. Somehow, anyhow. More for fun that anything else I'm taking dance classes, a bit out of my depth in the "modern" but loving tap, and it's there I meet the second love of my life. The tap classes are held in the old J.C.Williamson's rehearsal studio, high above the set construction workshop behind Her Majesty's Theatre. We borrowed tap shoes from the wicker baskets full of shoes left over from old JCW productions. Mine came from "No No Nanette" and belonged to Paul Wallace. He was the original Tulsa in "Gypsy" with Merman, and recreated the role in the film.
J.C. Williamson's announce they are producing "Gypsy," following the huge success of the first, belated, London production. More from sheer bravado than anything we decide to audition for it. On stage at Her Majesty's Theatre - a thrill in itself - in front of the legendary Betty Pounder ("Sparkle Darlings!") Well, I did my best to sparkle, but Scott got in, I didn't.
Time passes. I get a job stage-managing a small dance company. Scott goes into rehearsal. Opening night comes, I'm drinking with friends wanting nothing more than to go to the opening. One drink too many and I decide I will go, and I will get in. I somehow convince them to sell me a standing room ticket, so finally, from the back of the dress circle, I hear that amazing overture blaring up live from the pit of a real theatre. Gloria Dawn, one of our greatest performers, is a knockout. Technically the show is a disaster, the wonderful moment when Louise becomes Gypsy Rose Lee, the proscenium trucking downstage marred by it nearly falling over, pieces of scenery falling off, effects not working. I spend half the performance with Robbo, the Producton Manager, leaning on me in despair, patting his arm, reassuring him it will work. The show is a hit, that is obvious. Two weeks later word is out that Gloria Dawn is not well. Scott tells me the understudy is going on for the matinee. I go. She's good, but not good enough to carry the show. They announce that Toni Lamond is going into the show. Toni Lamond - Australia's favourite musical star. She steps in after four day's rehearsal. I see her second performance, different to Gloria's but another knockout, like she's taken all those difficult years she went through and channeled them into the performance of a life-time. The reception is an unforgettable welcome back and recognition of something wonderful happening up there on stage.
The show is a hit, and I see it a few more times, Toni's performance gets better all the time. Then it's time for it to go on tour. The dance company I'm working with is also going on tour. Tough times for the relationship with Scott, but they're going to Adelaide first, and we'll be there at the same time. Then they're off to Sydney. We do a tour of Queensland, and I stop off in Sydney on the way home. "Gypsy" is about to close, so I go to the last matinee. Toni Lamond's last moments on stage are chilling, real shivers down the back stuff. Seeing Scott is wonderful, but he gently and caringl breaks the news he is staying in Sydney, that's where the work is. Its a bitter-sweet few days, we know the relationship couldn't last at 1000km distance. Best of all possible ways for it finish though.

A few years (and a few relationships) later, and I'm having the time of my life Stage-Managing at the Last Laugh Theatre Restaurant. New show coming up and my boss bounds in announcing he has bought the set for it from the sell-off of old JCW sets. It turns out to be that false proscenium from "Gyspy" that wobbled its way downstage a few years earlier. It looks great, and winds up staying through the next couple of shows.

I decide four years at the Last Laugh is enough, and head off to London (and a few more relationships, concurrent this time.) Work is hard to find when I get back, but I wind up with a Christmas Pantomime at the Myer Mural Hall - a full-on traditional panto. I'm stage-managing, but part of my job is to appear on stage. My first (and last) professional appearance. I am to be Daisy the Cow. The front end mind you ! We go to pick up our costumes, and here the "Gypsy" connection comes full circle. The cow costume is a rather tired looking Caroline from - you guessed it - that production of "Gypsy."

2006-05-08T22:48:00.000+10:00

Another one of Bruno.
Just 'cos.

2006-05-05T20:25:00.000+10:00

40 Tags & 40 Nags

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Does Airport Security count ?
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? No way, not never - wide open in stark terror !
3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Umm, doesn't that involve snow? That's gonna be cold weather. Who goes outdoors in snow ?
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? As long as they don't snore.
5. Do you believe in ghosts? I do believe in ghosts. I do belive in ghosts.
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Just gimme an outlet
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Care factor ?
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? No contest. Angelina. I mean, who wants a loser.
9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics? I pretend.
10. Do you know how to play poker? Started playing when I was four, its kind of a family tradition.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Not for a very long time, and I hope never again.
12. What's your favorite commercial? That would mean admitting to watching commercial television!
13. Who was your first love? Shhhh, its a secret, but Gardiner McKay in "Adventures in Paradise" - why is an even bigger secret
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around how fast do you go? I'm not up in the middle of the night
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Two that no-one knows, and a few that only one person knows. (see Question 13)
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? Anything with New York in it has got to beat Boston.
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Yep - last girlfriend dragged me along a few times. . . . . Hey, maybe that's why!
18. How often do you remember your dreams? I dream half the day
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Don't remember
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatle's? Yes, and more.
21. What's the one thing on your mind? What am I meant to be doing next ?
22. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in lust at first sight. (see pic)
23. Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is? Huh ?
24. How often do you brush your teeth a day? Morning and night
25. What talent do you wish you had? Singing
26. Do you like sushi? At least three or four times a week.
27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? Twice.
28. What do you wear to bed? Whatever keeps me warm and cosy
29. Have you ever been caught stealing? Not yet
30. Does size matter? Is this a trick question ?
31. How many drinks of alcohol a day? About 0.1
32. Rock or Rap? No contest - Rock
33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? This week would be Brazilian Supermodel Bruno Santos - (see same pic.)
34. Do you know anyone in jail? I think he gets out in a month or so
35. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror? I cannot lie - Barney is my witness - yes.
36. How often do you like whoopie? As in Makin' Whoopie? As often as I can. (I live in terror of forgetting how)
37. What food do you find disgusting? That thing with the monkey under the table
38. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours? I knew there was something missing in my childhood
39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? Why bother? I'd just have to repeat it to their face later on
40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Yeah, and I'm still wondering why. Ungrateful bastard.

Tagged by Melly yet again.

2006-05-05T20:12:00.000+10:00

It's Not About Me...Really.
I AM: what I am, I am my own . . .
I WANT: it all
I WISH: often
I HATE: rarely
I MISS: being young and carefree
I FEAR: loneliness
I HEAR: music - and there's no-one there
I WONDER: Where the dimple will be
I REGRET: Rien de rien
I AM NOT: Lonely
I DANCE: only with Barney
I SING: appalling, but with gusto and great joy
I CRY: at the movies, quietly but regularly
I AM NOT ALWAYS: the patient and cheerful person I try to be
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: far less than Iwould like to
I WRITE: far less than I should
I CONFUSE: myself regularly
I NEED: more
I SHOULD: get off my ass and do something about it
I START: by trying to wake up
I FINISH: only sometimes

Another Melly tag that might just get me blogging again

2006-03-08T20:16:00.000+11:00

7 UP
Tagged by Melly -
Seven songs I am listening to right now ... here goes.

1. Ozone - Dragostea Din Tei
2. Katie Melua- The Closest Thing To Crazy
3. Dean Martin- On An Evening In Roma
4. Jamie Cullum - 21st Century Kid.
5. Stacey Kent - OOH-SHOOBEE-DOO-BEE
6. Madeleine Peyroux - You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
7. Linda Eder - I'd Like To Hate Myself In The Morning

2006-03-04T17:20:00.000+11:00

The Third Pick-Up

I guess we all have little rules we apply to ourselves in certain circumstances.
One of my favourites is one I share with my oldest and dearest friend. Goes like this.

You're browsing through a CD store, or Book-Store, any store you enjoy browsing in. You spot an item that looks interesting, unknown, but something about it takes your notice. You have a look, put it back, and keep browsing. After a bit you find yourself back at that first item. You pick it up again, check it out a bit more, put it back again - perhaps a little more reluctantly this time. You keep browsing. Nothing really seems to grab you, and you know what its like when you HAVE to spend some money ! . . . except . . . . where was that one I looked at before ? You find it, still undecided, you pick it up again.
Bingo. The Third pick-Up Rule now applies. You have to buy it, there is no escape.

It's simple, right? And I am pleased to be able to say that in most cases it has been successful.

2006-03-01T08:41:00.000+11:00

ESSENTIAL ACCESSORY

Imagine how reassuring it will be to know that next time you are abducted by aliens, they will have no problem returning you safely to Earth.
Of course, this will land you somewhere in Middle America . . .
Go to http://www.earthbounddog.com/

2006-02-22T15:07:00.000+11:00

WHAT STAR SIGN SHOULD YOU BE ?

You Should Be A Gemini

What's good about you: witty and energetic, you're simply the most fun to be around

What's bad about you: you're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly

In love: you enjoy the "honeymoon phase," but after that it's hard for you to stick around

In friendship, you're: likely to have many groups of friends, with many different interests

Your ideal job: mime, guru, or cartoonist

Your sense of fashion: casual and simple

You like to pig out on: fast food, especially burritos

What Sign Should You Be?

(I'm actually Libra.)

2006-02-17T18:05:00.000+11:00

Another Melly challenge

You scored as Deep Space Nine (Star Trek). You have entered the dark side of the Star Trek universe. The paradise of Earth is far from you and you must survive despite having enemies on all fronts. But you wouldn't have it any other way because you thrive in conflict and will know what needs to be done to take care of those around you. Now if only the Founders would quit trying to take over the galaxy.

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

94%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

94%

SG-1 (Stargate)

88%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

88%

Serenity (Firefly)

81%

Moya (Farscape)

81%

FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)

81%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

75%

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

75%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

69%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

56%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

50%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

2006-02-15T20:53:00.000+11:00

The Theory of Pearls
The art of embellishment

Composer Jerry Herman, hot on the heels of huge successes with "Mame" and "Hello Dolly", took a risk in 1969 with a musical based on Giradoux's "Mad Woman of Chaillot and failed spectacularly.
"Dear World" is probably not deservng of such a failure, but it is flawed. It's low point is undoubtedly the title song. Its high point "The Tea Party" is a tantalising glimpse of what Herman might have done if he had succeeded in writing a serious musical.
In the Tea Party the Madwoman of the title gathers together her two fellow mad-women (of the Flea Market and Montmartre) to save Paris and the planet from the madness of Big Business. And in the middle of the Tea Party we come to this short interchange.

M: Suppose I were to say your pearls were false ?
C: They were, they were.
M: I'm not asking you what they were, I'm asking what they are.
C: Surely you must know when you wear pearls, that little by little the pearls become real.
M: And isn't it the same with memories ?

Memories are pearls, and conciously or unconciously over the years our memories shift and change, we embellish and edit as it suits the moment, and little by little we lose track of the changes. Still, our memories are our realities, the only reality our past can have.

Melly copped two of my pearls at lunch today, and suggested I should be writing them up here. Parallel lines of thought - I'd been considering that was maybe where this blog should be heading. Well, we'll see what happens.

Watch this space.

2006-02-01T19:24:00.000+11:00

BROKEBACK DAY

Australia Day public holiday last week, an expected temperature over 40C, and the long awaited (for me anyway) opeing of Brokeback Mountain.
Arranged to meet N for the second session, arrive there an hour or so before to find the seesion sold out, and people already queued to get in and get their preferred seating. Bought tickets for the next sessionwhen N arrived, then headed off to find a cool bar. Found a new one to me - a Bier Cafe. Like the idea and liked the bar. Kinda lucky we couldn't get in to that session of the movie, N and I had a bit if catching up to do. Talked our heads off, and didn't have too many beers.

So. The film. I'd been so looking forward to it. I was not disappointed. I have to say straight up this is not a gay film any more than it is a cowboy film. Its a film about two people who fall in love, unexpectedly and dangerously, a love they initially cannot understand or accept. So, is it just a love story, a sort of chick flick with a twist ? No, there is much more to it. I does deal with prejudice, and with what the pressure to conform can do to people's lives (pay attention to the wives) but it is basically about love. And it succeeds in being the most powerful film about that overworked topic I've seen in a long. long time.

It helps of course to have two of the hottest young actors on the scene playing the leads. Heath Ledger's performance is nothing short of amazing, supported by Jake Gyllenhal's beautifully tailored character. It is Ledger's film (as it should be, it is Ennis' story). Ang Lee's direction never falters, his vision of the film is breathtaking.

Ten days since I saw it and I can't shake it. Still thinking about it, still feeling for the characters. Wonderful extract in the weekend papers from Annie P. stating she has experienced something few writers get - to see a film of their work that goes beyond what they are able to achieve with words alone.

I have been on a 10 day campaign to encourge everyone I know to see this film. Consider yourself encouraged to do so.

2006-01-31T20:46:00.000+11:00

And another one from Mel

create your own visited countries map

2006-01-29T21:45:00.000+11:00

Mel, you've done it to me again

Simon = Green Lantern

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Green Lantern - 85%
Superman - 80%
Catwoman - 65%
Spider-Man - 60%
Hulk - 60%
The Flash - 55%
Iron Man - 55%
Robin - 53%
Supergirl - 48%
Batman - 35%
Wonder Woman - 33%

Stolen from Grant (c/- Melly)
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

2006-01-27T07:04:00.000+11:00

TAKESHI
The lad has done a fashion shoot for GQ Mag.
February issue, with Heath on the cover.
Something new for me to anxiously await now that i've seen "Brokeback Mountain" . . . . (more on that to follow)

Life is never dull.

2006-01-22T20:30:00.000+11:00

Mighty Kong

Way too hot today, and a last-minute change of plans left me with the not very attactive prospect of sweltering in my hot little house, so I took myslef off to hide from the heat at the movies.
King Kong was the choice. Who'd have thought that little old film could have been turned into such a wonderful three hours ! And thank God nobody gave too much away.
The CGI is awesome, Kong himself is so real. I wanted to cheer when he finally got one of those blasted airplanes, then wanted to shout at the reporters when they were clambering over his body at the end. Several nice nods to specific films snuck in along the way too.
Get the feeling I loved it? You bet. A must-have for the DVD collection, but so glad I saw it on the big screen.

2006-01-17T19:45:00.000+11:00

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Opens here next week on the Australia Day Public Holiday.
Been a while since I've been waiting for a film to arrive with such anticipation.
Did well at the Golden Globe Awards. So glad.

2006-01-07T20:39:00.000+11:00

Tagged by Melly once again . . .

Choose one of your favourite bands/artist: ABBA
Answer all the questions using SONG TITLES from the BAND or ARTIST

1. Are you male or female? Dancing Queen
2. Describe yourself: Super Trouper
3. How do some people feel about you? The Way Old Friends Do
4. How do you feel about yourself? Take A Chance On Me
5. Describe current relationship with BF/GF: Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)
6. Describe where you want to be: Summer Night City
7. Describe how you live: SOS
8. Describe how you love: I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do
9. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Money Money Money
10. Share a few words of wisdom: The Winner Takes It All
11. Now say goodbye: Thank You For the Music

Today, with some trepidation, I had myself connnected to Cable Broadband. Some trepidation because I really wasn't 100% sure the problems I've been having with dial-up related to my phone line or to my aging computer.
I am relieved and pleased to discover the fault lay, as I guessed, with the phone line. Five hours online after connection, not a problem. I LOVE IT !!!!!

2006-01-06T17:04:00.000+11:00

Four-Play

Tagged by Melly

Four Jobs you’ve had in your life:
Barman
Travel Consultant
Stage Manager
Record SHop Manager

Four movies you could watch over and over:
Love, Actually
Wizard of Oz
Princess Bride
Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Four places you’ve lived:
Melbourne
Sydney
London
- there is no number four

Four TV shows you love to watch:
Currently:
The Simpsons
any E Channel gossip
Entourage
Will & Grace

Forever:
Friends
Ally McBeal
Sopranos
Six Feet Under

Four places you’ve been on vacation:
Thailand
South Korea
Hawaii
Java

Four websites you visit daily:
While my home internet is out of action, none.

Four of your favorite foods:
potatoes in any form
pad Thai
roast chicken
sticky-date pudding

Four places you’d rather be:
Thailand - Jomtien Beach to be precise
New York
White Beach, Mindanoa, The Philippines
Paris

2005-12-29T15:11:00.000+11:00

Post Xmas

Well, I survived it all.
The family Xmas was so much better for not being held On The Day. No kids feeling pulled between separated parents and grandparents. i think that it was made the difference. Everyone relaxed and happy, and everyone actually there for once. The family do is one that is always worse for me in anticipation, the actual occasion usually goes fairly painlessly - usually. There have been exceptions, and thankfully this year was not one.
The first of the orphan's christmases - the big one, On The Day, was among the best ever. Just old friends, good food, great wine (and plenty of it) and conversation on every topic under the sun. One of those days that reminds you why we have friends, and how treasured they become the longer we manage to keep them.
The second orphan's Christmas - well, it was always expected to be a bit trashier than the rest. Spent most of the day with a pregnant Jack Russell asleep on my lap - sweet. Didn't interfere with drinking or conversation or flirting. ( As if !)

So, now the end of the year is near - frighteningly close in fact. haven't started on my end of year retrospective, that's usually a New Years Day thing for me. Want to get tomorrow - last day of work for the year - out of the way before I allow myself to look at what has - and hasn't been, achieved.

2005-12-15T13:47:00.000+11:00

On break before when a delivery van drove past

Sweeney Todd - Medical Waste Disposal.

Tickled my fancy that did.

2005-12-15T07:33:00.000+11:00

The Big Week

Starts this weekend. Saturday the staff Christmas Party, always a big night, nice to see people you see scurrying around every day frowning and looking stressed relaxing and letting their hair down. Always an interesting evening for a watcher like me, and always a few instances (a few ??) of people relaxing just that little bit too much.
Sunday is the Family Christmas. Yep, a week earlier, but this way we get everyone together at one time. Christmas Day there is too much of kids being torn between which parent to spend the day with – two generations of split families. Messy.
Then two days off. RDO on Tuesday, and managed a day’s leave for Monday. Monday The Princess is coming round with cheap wine for our traditional Xmas trash-ourselves. Tuesday I suspect will be a quiet day recovering.
Work through to and including Christmas Eve – early start, but they usually let us off early.
Christmas Day – so-called “Orphan’s Xmas” at my oldest and dearest friend’s. Half a dozen or so old friends in similar situations to me, or who’s families are interstate or overseas. They have a great cellar and a swimming pool, and enough beds for those of us who won’t want to drive home.
Boxing Day, a delayed Orphan’s Xmas. Started out as a late BBQ on Xmas Day for "orphans" and those who just needed to relax with extended family after the strain of a day with the people we get lumbered with genetically.It's the Day After this year. Floating guest list, never quite sure who’ll turn up.This particular bachelor is looking forward to that – for all the wrong reasons I assure you !
And that, barring any surprises, is how my Xmas is shaping up.

2005-12-12T07:38:00.000+11:00

Sunday 11 December – Cronulla Race Riots

There have been times I’ve found it difficult to say I was proud to be an Australian.
But I’ve never felt ashamed of it before.

A part of me wants to point out it was Sydney – SYDNEY NOT MELBOURNE – but it makes no difference. It is Australia, and I feel the legendary Aussie tolerance has proven to be just that, a fragile myth.

2005-12-11T09:07:00.000+11:00

Jimmy Stewart
9% Tough, 14% Roguish, 57% Friendly, and 19% Charming!

You are the fun and friendly boy next door, the classic nice guy who still manages to get the girl most of the time. You're every nice girl's dreamboat, open and kind, nutty and charming, even a little mischievous at times, but always a real stand up guy. You're dependable and forthright, and women are drawn to your reliability, even as they're dazzled by your sense of adventure and fun. You try to be tough when you need to be, and will gladly stand up for any damsel in distress, but you'd rather catch a girl with a little bit of flair. Your leading ladies include Jean Arthur and Donna Reed, those sweet girl-next-door types.

2005-12-10T10:57:00.000+11:00

Last weekend.

Friend’s birthday dinner. About 20 of us on the dinner cruise on the Yarra.

You want to know something – Don’t bother with it. Do the Dinner Tram instead.

The company was good though, and most of us wound up at the The Market Hotel later in the evening. Now about 20 something years ago the Market Hotel was a hotel, and I used to drink there. Then they pulled it down and turned it into what was for a while the hottest, state-of-the-art nightclub in town. Renamed it Three Faces. Now they call it The Market again. It hasn’t changed. I could have sworn it was the same crowd there as 20 years ago . . . . they just hadn’t aged. Unfortunately I have !
Somewhere around 5.00 am wandered down the road to crash at the birthday boy’s house.
Do you know how hard it is to have to share a bed with someone you fancy like crazy when you’ve just copped the “I only want to be friends” line. Even at 5.00 am and after rather a few too many drinks !

2005-11-29T08:53:00.000+11:00

'puter blues #2

On-going saga; not the modem, as suspected, just a shortage of memory (do computers take after their owners like dogs do ?)
So last week, RDO, beautiful sunny day, decided to take the hour's walk to the recommended computer shop to pick up extra memory for my ailing computer.
Seriously nice day for a good walk, although the long steep hill at the end was a little unexpected. Fortunately I was going downhill, but the thought of climbing back up was a little daunting.
25 minute wait in line at the computer store. Lots of interesting looking boxes with all sorts of stuff I don't understand in them - exciting graphics on the boxes too that always seem to imply immense speed and excitement.
Finally get to one of the men at the desk, only to be told, ever-so-gently, that memory is no longer available. Perhaps a swap-meet . . . .Not what I wanted to hear.
I decided that hill was definitely too steep to be climbed. There is a railway station right next to the store . . . . hmm . . . dammitt, I'm feeling frustrated and there is money in my pocket and the city shops area only 20 minutes away.Train trips on previously undiscovered parts of the rail network are always interesting.
The city was a series of small accidents - namely 2 CDs and 2 DVDs.
I still have an ailing computer, but I sure benefited from a little retail therapy.

2005-11-05T11:09:00.000+11:00
"Puter Blues

My computer has for the last few months been showing all the signs of terminal illness.Finally got a clue the other day, when it told me that something called RNApp was not responding. Apparently that is something in Windows that has something to do with the internet - which is what was actually dying, at increasingly shorter periods of time. A bit like drawing last breath really. When it got down to dumping me after 90seconds online, I figured it was time for action - radical surgery, or overdue euthenasia.To be honest I figured most of the problem was that Iwas still on ME - nice to use except notoriously unstable.
So, after asking around a bit I tracked down a copy of XP.
Nearly two hours to install it.Noticeable inprovement in general performance. So far so good.
Tried to log on to the Internet. Ninety minutes later established my Modem (yup, to make it worse I'm still on dial-up) is not compatible with XP.
Why did I bother I wonder?

2005-11-03T16:13:00.000+11:00
A LOLLY TAG

The idea is to add a comment to the end after you've workled your way through.

If the sentence is bold=I agree

If it's plain = I disagree

001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.
009. I've watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S
.034. I shave/wax my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way that I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have written my congressperson/MP.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been sexually intimate with fewer than ten people.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my friends list.
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer. (for future reference when I say dancer, I mean stripper)
060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months…
066. I have never been in a real relationship before.
067. I've rejected someone before.
068. has dissapeared!!
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
*070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least ten years older/younger
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.
084. I have owned a minivan.
085. I own the "SOUTH PARK" movie.
086. I have avoided work/school to play on LJ.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friends.
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I've had a crush on somebody I have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think Ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR.
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I had mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor. (not a bad one, just sick...)
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong girls, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything
138. I've done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a pornographic videotape.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
144. One of my boobs is bigger than the other though not noticed by others.
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I am abnormally obsessed with all things Buffy/Angel
147. I love comfort food.
148. I'm a right-winged conservative Christian, and proud of it.
149. I'm Catholic
150. I can walk a mile without feeling like I'm going to die over.
151. I am a university student
152. I love/like to cook
153. I hate vacuuming with a passion.
154. I'm addicted to photography and picture frames.
155. I have performed in the Rocky Horror Picture show
156. I generally get along with my parents.
157. I like Shakespeare
158. I like to sing.
159. I'll take the Pepsi Challenge any day, and STILL pick Coke!
160. I have things that I want to say to people, but I won't/can't because I don't want to hurt/be hurt by them.
161. I'm not "mainstream" when it comes to religion.
162. I've counted down the days until the summer.
163. I've fulfilled someone's dare at a party or gathering.
164. I challenge people to duels, and when I do, I mean it.
165. I was pigeon-toed at one point in my life.
166. I love Digimon and wear goggles to school.
167. I have been to an anime convention.
168. I constantly have my head in the clouds daydreaming.
169. I like to roleplay.
170. I was in labor for 30 hours with no pain medication.
171. I own more than three items of vinyl clothing.
172. I read hardcore Christian Bible Tracts because I think they're funny.
173. I hate to drive.
174. I'm unemployed but would rather sit on my butt and play video games than look for a job.
175. I come from a southern, highly religious family and have chosen to keep a major part of my life secret from my family for now because I know they will disown me the day they find out.
176. I have a serious taste for older women--older, snarky, sarcastic women.
177. I had a happy childhood. for the most part.
178. I have an unhealthy obsession with certain child actors.
179. I am an only child.
180. I have more than five different lotions on my desk right now.
181. I have a more active online social life than IRL.
182. Sometimes, I actually like my job
183. I'm the youngest child.
184. I have had something I wrote/drew/photographed/etc. published.
185. I think the pro-life movement and the pro-choice movement both have their collective, respective heads up their arses.
186. I own an iPod.
187. I get a headache sometimes when I sleep really late.
188. I have a "LiveStrong" bracelet
189. I am currently wearing an article of clothing that belongs(ed) to someone else.
190. My life currently consists of work,school and sleep.
191. I should be sleeping right now…
192. someone i knew REALLY well has passed - away.
193. I honestly believe everyone has an inner Tellytubbie
194. I have fallen in love with someone who I thought was one person, and he/she turned out to be different from what I expected.
195. my life is so crazy and confusing right now that i feel that i just hafta go with the flow for awhile because otherwise i will regret something that i did or will do…
196. I have actually started off a story about something that happened to me with "One time at band camp..."
197. I own more than 10 pairs of shoes.
198. I have a hard time saying no to people
199. I own more than two cardigans.
200. i have gone swimming without a bathing suit/completly naked
201. I like to layer my clothing.
202. I pretend I have my shit together, when really I'm clueless.
203. It takes me years to tell a crush that I like them
204. I have an awesome last name.
205. I have been in a relationship that requires at least a paragraph of explanation before other people stop referring to it or viewing it inaccurately.
206. I like it that way.
207. The person I was five years ago probably wouldn't like the person I am now.
208. I am keeping a secret that could destroy someone's life.
209. I think steves car is cool, and it was a good buy.
210. I think people should worry less about hurting peoples feelings and what others will think, and just say what they really think/feel.
210. I believe there are exceptions to everything.
211. I'm praying for some kind of naked revolution
212 I 'm confused about life, and I like it that way.

2005-10-26T02:25:00.000+10:00
Mel's 5X5 Tag
(She's done it again, and again I obediantly comply)

1. List your top 5 80's songs – Not my favourite period, but here goes . . .
Tina Turner – What’s Love Got To Do With It
Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand
Starship – We Built This City
John Farnham – Age of Reason

2. List your top 5 favourite scents

Coconut oil – makes me think of beaches on hot summer days
Freshly crushed coriander leaves – takes me straight to Thailand
Freshly bathed children – just makes me all warm and clucky
Bread baking
The smell of rain coming

3. List your top 5 holiday destinations

Puerto Galera, Philippines – white sand, clear water, bamboo huts and shooting stars.
Pangandaran, Indonesia – where else can you sit and watch the sun set over the ocean in the west at the same time as you watch a full moon rise over the ocean to the east
Honolulu, G&T’s under the banyan tree at sunset on the terrace of the Moana Surfrider Hotel
New York
Thailand – Jomtien, Pattaya, Chiang Mai, anywhere !

4. List your top 5 favourite nightclubs/pubs/haunts where you live.

The restaurant in the old Brighton baths, lunch on a weekday in winter.
The stalls bar in Her Majesty’s Theatre
Cubbyhouse, Moonee Ponds (cos I had a great time getting drunk there the other night with a bunch of work friends)
The little chinese restaurant in a lane off Little Collins Street, up a rickety staircase, about six tables, fabulous food, don’t know the name - in fact I’ve never been able to find out if it even has one.
The Exchange, Prahran – actually I almost hate the place, but I’ve been drinking there for twenty years or so, and just can’t imagine not going there

5. List your top 5 favourite drinks.

Cascade Premium Light Ale – I can drink it all night
Vodka and lime
French Champagne – on the rare occasions I can justify the expense
Single malt whisky – Glenlivet is the preferred one at the moment, but I’m only just beginning to delve into this new appreciation.
Coffee – anywhere, any time - just got to have it on a regular basis.

2005-10-21T11:48:00.000+10:00
Birthday Eve

Tomorrow is my birthday. Long gone are the birthdays I looked forward to with eager anticipation as a child, when the thought of being a year older was something to be celebrated without question.

There’s a line in a song I love, “I’ve had enough birthdays” It just came to mind, and I thought no, I haven’t. I sure as hell am not ready to stop yet. But there was something appealing in the line still. Then I remembered the rest of it . . . .

I’ve washed enough evenings
I’ve dried enough mornings,
I’ve had enough birthdays to know what I want

Do I know what I want? Sometimes I think I do. I know what I dream about , the list is long, but what I really want? Security, companionship, good health. I can’t really complain, I’m doing pretty well on those.

So why do I go through this dread every year when another birthday comes along, after all, its just a number, a rather arbitrarily imposed definition of what I’m meant to be, or supposed to have achieved when I reach a certain point in my life. Hell, I’ve spent most of my adult life ignoring or fighting that, the Peter Pan syndrome if you like. Another line from another song from another show “My body’s clearing forty as my mind is nearing ten.” Problem is every now and then the body reminds you that you’re a long way past ten. And that brings in the fear of getting old, and that’s the fear of losing your health more than anything.
Then you start thinking about what you’ve been through, what you’ve seen and done, who you’ve loved, where you’ve been, how much more there still is to see and do and love, and you feel sort of pleased and grateful for it all. And that’s what another birthday is really about, looking back and looking forward, so it has to be a mix of happiness and sadness, anticipation and fear. It just comes a bit more into focus that one day of the year.

2005-10-20T14:30:00.000+10:00
Catch-Up

Mel had words with me today about not having blogged for a while.
Words from a sleep-deprived Mel are not to be taken lightly.

I spent last week at work training new staff. I did a lot of training in this department a year or so back, and it was great to get back to it. There’s something very satisfying about training. It scared me at first – until I realised there was no way I could be half as scared as those poor new guys sitting there with no idea what they were about to be put through. “Put through” is exactly right for this last group too. The poor things got one week of training instead of the usual two, and were thrown onto the phones. Last day of training was the best. They had a couple of hours double-jacking, and I went around half an hour before they finished to tell them we expected they’d take a call before they finished. Within about ten minutes they all did. I was walking around feeling like the proudest dad on earth. That moment made the whole week worthwhile. Drinks afterwards was good too, nice to see them all relaxed.

It was an exhausting week. I also decided last week to start walking to walk again. If I’m taking that Thailand holiday next year this stomach has got to go before I show myself on any beach. Good timing huh – an hour’s walk to work then spend all day on your feet, then an hour’s walk home. Slept well though (don’t think I’m game enough to suggest Mel tries walking to work !)
The weekend break was good – Monday I chopped five minutes off the walk, and I’m not hobbling around the house at night like an eighty-five year old with rheumatoid arthritis any more.

Monday and Tuesday I was floor-walking for the new guys. That was pretty full-on, trying to juggle three or four things at once, and on my feet again all day. Made the day go mighty fast though. Today was time to let go, let the chicks fly the nest as it were. That’s always a bit hard, more-so when they’re such a good bunch. In some ways it was good to get back on the phones. Only in some ways mind you. Today too there was a really upsetting incident at work. I must say our team-leaders handled it really well, especially as they were affected as much as the rest of us.
Anything else form the last week or so? Good news from Steve who is winding up a seven-week jaunt through Europe and Asia – 11 of the 12 DVDs I put on the shopping list have been found. Of course I want him to come home NOW. Materialistic ? Me ???
Not much else I can think of at the moment

2005-10-20T14:11:00.000+10:00
Catch-Up

Mel had words with me today about not having blogged for a while.
Words from a sleep-deprived Mel are not to be taken lightly.

I spent last week at work training new staff. I did a lot of training in this department a year or so back, and it was great to get back to it. There’s something very satisfying about training. It scared me at first – until I realised there was no way I could be half as scared as those poor new guys sitting there with no idea what they were about to be put through. “Put through” is exactly right for this last group too. The poor things got one week of training instead of the usual two, and were thrown onto the phones. Last day of training was the best. They had a couple of hours double-jacking, and I went around half an hour before they finished to tell them we expected they’d take a call before they finished. Within about ten minutes they all did. I was walking around feeling like the proudest dad on earth. That moment made the whole week worthwhile. Drinks afterwards was good too, nice to see them all relaxed.

It was an exhausting week. I also decided last week to start walking to walk again. If I’m taking that Thailand holiday next year this stomach has got to go before I show myself on any beach. Good timing huh – an hour’s walk to work then spend all day on your feet, then an hour’s walk home. Slept well though (don’t think I’m game enough to suggest Mel tries walking to work !)
The weekend break was good – Monday I chopped five minutes off the walk, and I’m not hobbling around the house at night like an eighty-five year old with rheumatoid arthritis any more.

Monday and Tuesday I was floor-walking for the new guys. That was pretty full-on, trying to juggle three or four things at once, and on my feet again all day. Made the day go mighty fast though. Today was time to let go, let the chicks fly the nest as it were. That’s always a bit hard, more-so when they’re such a good bunch. In some ways it was good to get back on the phones. Only in some ways mind you. Today too there was a really upsetting incident at work. I must say our team-leaders handled it really well, especially as they were affected as much as the rest of us.
Anything else form the last week or so? Good news from Steve who is winding up a seven-week jaunt through Europe and Asia – 11 of the 12 DVDs I put on the shopping list have been found. Of course I want him to come home NOW. Materialistic ? Me ???
Not much else I can think of at the moment

2005-10-09T15:15:00.000+10:00
AN INDULGENT OBSESSION

In one of Mellie’s challenge lists I admitted I can shop for hours. I could have elaborated. I can shop for hours and not buy anything. My favourite place to shop in the world has got to be the Mahboonkron Centre in Bangkok, commonly and affectionately known as MBK. It may not be the best place to purchase much, but it’s a paradise for the inveterate shopper.
About this time last year I was at the chinese DVD store in MBK, on my last day in Thailand, trying to get rid of a few extra bath. I’d found the DVD I wanted (“Hero”) quite quickly for a change, and was working my way through the discount bins, just in case there was anything inexpensive and irresistible, when I found I couldn’t stop watching the movie they were playing. I’ve had a long-standing rule about shopping – if you pick the same thing up three times, you should buy it. I think I should add a variation, if you watch more than ten minutes of the movie playing in the store, you should buy it. Apart from the fact that I do really like the film, it gave me my current indulgent obsession.
One of the things I’ve found out about myself as I get older is that I can safely allow myself to enjoy a good, healthy obsession. I’m not talking about being obsessed with food, or a particular author. I’m talking about being obsessed with a particular person, you know, the guy who’s currently top of the Shag List, shameful or otherwise. And enjoy really is the right word for it. It has none of the wonderful anguish of a teenage crush, or the desperation of an impossible love affair. It can be somebody unreachable, like a movie star, or somebody as close as the guy who sits two desks away from you at work. There is a kind of purity about it, no expectation that it is going to lead anywhere, no expectation that this is the Great Love of Your Life, and it really serves no purpose other than to be simply enjoyed.
That film I bought was “House of Flying Daggers” and the actor who is the object of my obsession is Takeshi Kaneshiro’ He’s been mentioned in here before. I didn’t see him in any of the bits of the film I saw in Bangkok. It wasn’t until I got home and watched the whole film that I made the almost calculated decision that this man was one I wanted to see as much of as I can.
It’s not been easy to find out much more than basic biographical info about him. He’s half Taiwanese, half Japanese, has worked as a model and released one (apparently not great ) pop album, speaks four languages fluently (including English – a bonus there !) and appeared in a couple of dozen Chinese and Japanese movies. That he appears not to be romantically involved with anyone is another bonus in the obsession stakes.
He started out making a name for himself playing quirky characters, the man obsessed with the expiry dates on tins of pineapple in “Chunking Express”, the same character looking for love in “Fallen Angels”, an actual angel with an obsession for sneakers who falls to earth with a broken wing in “Lavender” or the man running a business to find things people have lost in Lost and Found.. He moved on to a few films as the romantic lead, still a bit off-beat, like “Anna Magdalena” as part of a classic love-triangle, and half the pair of lovers who keep just missing each other in “Turn Left, Turn Right.” There’s a definite boyish appeal in all those films, a feeling that he’s a little bit lost in a world he doesn’t really understand, a vulnerability certainly, but a sense that he’s a survivor as well. There’s an openness in his performances too, he seems to have no fear of exposing himself to the camera.
He made one sci-fi action film, not very well received, then suddenly seemed to turn a corner, starring in his first martial-arts film. In “House of Flying Daggers” he starts out still with the boyish charm, but in a grown man, a womaniser, at ease and in control of the hedonistic life-style he’s chosen, only to realise the emptiness of that as he falls in love with the woman even he realises means the end of the life he has known, and ultimately the end of his life as he fights with his best friend over the woman they both love. It’s a fine performance.

None of that of course really explains why I decided to become make him the object of my obsession. Maybe you just need to see some of his films.

He’s just finished another film. They’re saying it’s the Hong Kong film industry’s answer to “Moulin Rouge.” Now that should be interesting.

2005-10-04T04:28:00.000+10:00
Chain Saw

Today I conquered my fear of the chainsaw!

Feeling quite chuffed with myself.

2005-10-02T08:06:00.000+10:00
Saturday at work

Saturday and a 7.00am start at work. Forty minutes on the phones now and just had my second call. Already answered my e-mails, there is some crappy adolescent ninja thing on the nearest TV and I can’t find a remote to change it. There is no-one sitting near me this morning, and I ‘m too much of a stick-in-the-mud to move desks. In other words, no win situation – complain like crazy when we’re busy, and moan about being bored when it’s quiet. OK, got all that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

The week

Highlights ? Job interview I guess, hate them, stomach churns before, palms get sweaty, the usual nervous stuff. I got through it alright I guess, the nerves disappeared as soon as I got to talking about my favourite topic (as if you can’t guess).

Split week, and I do hate them. Thursday, my day off, I took that out on my hapless garden, two trees to be precise. Well, they had made the stupid decision to grow in the wrong place and on top of that to try and push the fence over. They had to go. Simple. You know how people joke about what happens when you let a guy loose in the garden with a pair of pruning shears. Nothing compared to me with a saw.
Those trees are gone. And I did it with a hand-saw. I bought a hain saw about two years ago . . . . got as far as putting it together on Thursday, but I still haven’t screwed up the courage to actually use it. Terrifies me ! You can call me a coward all you like, and no it doesn’t have to do with visions of Christian Bale chasing that girl or Chainsaw Massacre (I haven’t seen 1 or 2) I just feel I want to keep all my fingers and toes. Just realised, Christian Bale didn’t rate a mention on any of those lists. He should have, but I think I felt it was a bit obvious to put Batman on there. Thinking about that chainsaw sccene of his in American Psycho. Wonder if that scene is meant to be a clue that all may not be what it appears in that film. Must check back, that chainsaw should have switched off as soon as he let go the handles. Can’t remember if he tied anything on it to keep it going. And of course, the likelihood it would have landed just right . . . . . ?

Oh, situation at work not so bad. Got very busy for quite a while, then Shaz turned up after all so I haven’t been alone. And its gone quiet again. Had a bit of a chat with her about dog-food . . . . Had a bit if a fight with one of the techs – arrogant, condescending bastard. I was right of course. Just had my last break and on the home stretch. Home to finish off the last few chapters of Robertson Davies’ “Salterton Trilogy” – decided to re-read his complete works, all three (or is it four) trilogies anyway. Just a whim. Maybe watch a film. Tomorrow is lunch with my oldest friend, and another friend we went to Uni with all those years ago. Glad I have Monday off work. It will be a boozy day.

2005-09-28T06:30:00.000+10:00
ANOTHER MELLY FELINE CHALLENGE LIST

Five things I plan to do before I die.

1. Have an affair in Paris
2. Retire, gracefully of course, to Thailand
3. read Proust’s “Remembrance of Things Past”
4. jump out of a plane – parachute attached and working please
5. Finish the renovations on my house

Five things I can do.

1.Shop for hours
2.Be quiet
3.tie a bow-tie
4.cook
5.Fill in lists when Mel challenges me to.

Five things I cannot do.

1. Sing
2. Drink anyone I know under the table
3. Wait patiently.
4. Make meringues.
5. Abide smugness or hypocrisy.

Five things that attract me to the opposite sex.

1. Sense of humour
2. Smile (preferably crooked)
3. eyes
4. Honesty
5. equanimity

Five things I say most often

1. F%#k.
2. Actually . . .
3. Ohhh no!
4. How’s things
5. gesundheit

Five celebrity crushes (another shag list !)

1. Matthew McConoughey
2. Brad Pitt
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Paul Walker
5. Gary Cooper

Five people I want to do this next

1. Lolly
2- 5 Melly already got to them !

2005-09-27T08:23:00.000+10:00
Shameful Blogs #2

The previous list was the not-so-obvious ones. I figure I might as well put down the ones from the more obvious list that I’d tried to avoid before. No shame attached to any of these !!

Gael Garcia Bernal
(dot the I ; Motorcycle Diaries ; Bad Education )
He’s my height, which means he’s short. Good start. Has a definite cheeky boyish charm. Sometimes he’s sort of funny looking, there’s something about his snub nose, but then he’ll turn those big baby-browns to the camera and that slightly crooked smile crinkles all the way up around his eyes and its meltdown time. . . . Oh yeah, he’s a good actor too.

Orlando Bloom
Certainly noticed him in LotR. How could you not. I have chosen to ignore that awful boxing thing (Calcium Kid). It’s Pirates of the Caribbean that really won me, despite the very strong competition indeed from Mr Depp. Lean, great bone-structure, that accent, the eyes . . . .So far I haven’t really noticed if he can act

Jake Gyllenhaal
How can anyone turn from dorky, scary weirdo in Donny Darko into being acclaimed as one of the sexiest actors in Hollywood. Helps he is such a good actor – even in that rather crappy but thoroughly enjoyable Day after Tomorrow, and let’s face it that was his ticket to the big-time. His newest Film seems to be generating the sort of good publicity you can’t pay for and it doesn’t even get general release until December. This boy looks like he’s on a roll right to the top. And is he one of the sexiest actors in Hollywood? Oh yeah.

Brad Pitt
What do you say about this man? I would pin-point his prime to “And A River runs Through It” – sort of his James Dean film. Or maybe Fight Club. . . . Why not both, the boy in one, the man in the other? Yeah, I’ll go with that

Chris Evans
Could be on his way to being the new No.1 Hollywood pin-up boy. You might remember him in “Not Another American Teen Movie” – just think whipped cream and weenies – but if you’ve caught up with “Cellular” then you’ll know why he’s on the list. The lad is only something like 22. Haven’t seen Famous (or is it Fabulous) Four yet, and he’s got a few more films waiting for release. Can't wait.

2005-09-26T12:52:00.000+10:00
Melly’s challenge

Five Shameful Shags

Try as I may, I have only been able to come up with four, and to be honest, there’s only one I feel even faintly embarrassed about admitting to, the others just need some explanation. So, here goes, in no particular order.

Judi Dench.
Yep, I bet everyone who happens to read this will immediately picture her as Queen Elizabeth. The thing is, that’s not how I see her. I still see the elfin-faced, trim figured, young actress with the distinctive voice and the amazing presence who was the leading lady with the Royal Shakespeare Company way back when I was 17. I instantly found myself with a teenage crush that has not diminished over the years. I met her once – and I use the word met very lightly indeed – a decade or more later, in London. I was walking up Hampstead High Street, and a small, rather stout lady bustled out of a shop and banged straight into me. It was her, and exhibiting every symptom of that teenage crush, I blushed, stammered, muttered something utterly incoherent, and hurried off, totally blowing the opportunity of actually talking to her.

Stephen Fry
He’s very tall, and I don’t go for tall men. He’s also not thin, and I like my men on the lean side. So why? Wit, intelligence and talent.

Jon Bon Jovi
Whoa, hold on, where are we going here? Judy Dench and Stephen Fry to Jon Bon Jovi? OK, this one is purely physical. It takes a bit to get past the hair, a lot to get past the hair, but he’s got a good face, a twinkle in the eyes, nice body (great chest) and the particular combination of light brown to fair hair and hairy chest that gets me every time. But still – Jon Bon Jovi ! My grown-up niece is embarrassed to admit she had his poster on her wall when she was seven !

Ian Wright
You know, the little pommie guy on “Lonely Planet” with the bad teeth and the appalling accent who keeps dropping his dacks and cracking bad jokes and gets plastered in almost every episode he’s on. He tells a good story though, and he knows he’s cracking bad jokes which kinda makes you laugh with him.

My week
More like my fortnight,it’s been a while since I blogged last.
It’s been pretty normal, hating work (except for the two days Mel sits next to me of course) wishing I was rich and dreaming of lazing on a beach in Thailand.
Mel lent me Season One of “The Sopranos” which I hadn’t seen, and that has been my viewing all week. I can’t wait to get hold of the next season, but I think I should take a bit of a break. I am in awe of James Gandolfini’s performance as Tony Soprano.
Have to admit to finding the whole business with his mother in some ways was a bit close to the bone. Not that I am suggesting my mother ever showed signs of trying to have me bumped off, but the whole thing about putting her into the home was just so accurate. I watched the last three episodes in one go today, definitely need a little time to absorb it all properly.

2005-09-14T03:37:00.000+10:00
BARNEY

Barney came into my life eight years ago. I had moved from Northcote to Richmond with my two dogs, Blanche and Buddy, who quickly discovered an escape route under the house and out into next-door’s drive-way and were off and away. Blanche came back, but I never found Buddy, and Blanche was missing him, so after a decent interval, off I went in search of a new playmate.
A visit to the dog-home is ultimately distressing, so many pups that need a new home you can never imagine there would be enough people wanting to provide. It is hard to be practical. That gorgeous little puppy that will grow to be the size of a small horse is not going to be suitable for a smallish inner-suburban back yard. Row after row of dogs just wanting to be loved, and in the last cage of the last row, a small, fully grown, tan and white whippet-cross, who stood up, cocked his head to one side, took a long look at me and seemed to decide he was going home with me. He won.
Blanche adored him and promptly elected to take bottom rung on the new pecking order. Barney seemed rather more ambivalent about her, she was fun to play with, but if I was around, well, it was just all about me. Blanche died three years later, at home. Barney was there, and he knew something was going on, he stayed close, and when she’d gone had a long sniff around her, registered in whatever way it is a dog does that she was gone, and that was that.
He never showed any signs of pining for her. It’s like her passing released his independence. Or maybe I just noticed it in him more. It was a relief I must admit, I really wanted to get out of the two-dog thing. We moved again within a year, my own house this time. “His” backyard (but I’m always welcome to join him), “his” two chairs, even “his” bedroom, which he graciously gives over to guests.
He’s getting older now, but still each day I am that little bit more grateful that I have him in my life. He is my sanity, my sounding-board, my chastener, and a constant source of amusement and fun and affection.

Some of the things I love most about him;

· The huge welcome I get every time I come home, be it 5 minutes or 5 weeks, no matter, it always seems like it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened in his life.
· Rough-housing on the floor (me being a kid again)
· How he treats his evening snack of dry food. As if he has to establish for sure it is not alive, one of the larger pieces is carefully pulled out of the bowl, tossed in the air, pounced on, thrown around, pounced on again, then left while the same routine is performed on another piece. Then if the first piece hasn’t moved, it’s safe to be eaten.
· How he has decided that it is his duty as host to sleep in the same bed as our guests.
· The absolute and complete trust he has in me.
· How when things get just too exciting he will chase his tail in precisely three clockwise circles, no more, no less.
· How he listens with total concentration when I am talking to him, never answers back or offers unwanted criticism, and never repeats any of it. God – if he did or could spill the dirt. . . .The things he alone knows!!!
· How when I’m getting ready for work in the morning he takes himself out to his kennel as soon as he hears me cleaning my teeth.
· How he works the room when friends are around, and somehow seems to know just which one will absent-mindedly respond to him leaning gently against their leg and start scratching his ear.
· His marked preference – in total contrast to his dad – for big men – the taller and more solid the better.
· How he knows when I want or need him to sleep on my bed for a change, and when he does, after the few circles to get comfortable, the deep sigh as he seems to settle deep into the bedclothes and then doesn’t budge till morning.

2005-09-10T11:20:00.000+10:00
10 Pet Peeves
1 Hypocrisy
2 People that insist on walking three or four abreast on narrow footpaths
3 Boom boxes in cars at full volume at 3.00am . . . . actually at anytime! What ever makes some people think everyone wants to hear their music?
4 Arrogance (invariably unjustified)
5 Too much perfume (or aftershave) – makes me sneeze
6 People who believe the responsibility is always somebody else’s
7 Carrying “Politically Correct” to ridiculous extremes
8 Out-of-control kids in public spaces – especially supermarkets
9 Obnoxious drunks
10 Sleazebags

10 Things That Rock
1 Barney, for his unconditional love and devotion, beautiful brown eyes and the way he wags his tail round in circles every time I come home.
2 Spring
3 Thunderstorms (so tomorrow should be a good day !)
4The first cup of coffee each day
5 Finally being able to come home to my own house every day (So the bank owns more of it than I do? So what!)
6 Music
7 Movies
8 the Theatre – bless it and long may it survive
9 Books
10 Getting off a plane in a new city

2005-09-07T11:43:00.000+10:00
This is kind of the Blog I have to do when I really don’t know what I want to blog about. I keep stirring the guys around me at work – here in Blog Central – that they’re getting slack, neglecting their Blog Duties. If I don’t keep my end up they’ll turn on me for sure – and deservedly so.

So . . . . well, the weather’s been really good. Frustratingly good in fact. Combined with unusually late starts (for me) I’ve been walking to work. Takes me an hour which makes it a good worthwhile walk. Nice at this time of year too, can have a good comparatively leisurely sticky-beak at everybody’s gardens as I walk past. Nothing sinister there, just always on the lookout for ideas for my neglected garden. I admit I dream far more about my garden than doing anything about it, but soon !
Yeah, soon.
Right now of course everything is starting to grow. I think perhaps the loveliest thing at the moment is the new leaves on the rose bushes. Just love the way they look so new and clean and green with their reddish-brown edges. That’s going to be about the end of me waxing lyrical.

Just went out for a cigarette. Guy down there I’ve sort of liked the look of for a while.
He has a beard, and I usually don’t much care for that. He’s shaved it off. Pity. He needs the beard. Another little obsession gone.

Forty minutes to go before home time, and things have got so quiet in here it’s going to drag. Got to start writing out a job app when I get home, internal job, still not 100% decided if the time is right for me to leave this company. Apparently a few people going for it. We’ll see. There’s a bit of a flurry of people applying for new positions here – guess its just the first round of new positions after the end of the Financial year.

Getting close to home time. People round me getting silly and its catching. That’s not a complaint, not at this time of day. This is probably my worst blog to-date. Not particularly fussed by that, but going to leave it at that.

2005-09-01T19:16:00.000+10:00
I’m just not a winter person. I’ve known that since childhood. I love the sun, and leaves on the trees, and the soft feel of the wind in spring and summer. I love being outside, doesn’t matter if it’s a clear blue sky with a blazing sun or a sky that’s black with a tropical storm, and maybe best of all a night sky with more stars than you thought there could ever be.
Not that I used to mind winter all that much, not as a child. I guess then you figure it’ll pass, that’s if you think about it at all. When you’re a kid you tend to take what’s there and just run with it. Somewhere along the line, when so much of the child has left forever and the responsibility of adulthood has you firmly in its grasp, you find you have to think about things more. And when that started happening to me,, then winter started to get to me, and each one was just a bit harder to get through than the last.
It got to the point my friends would joke about it, well, make it sound like they were joking, around late May “Guess we won’t be seeing or hearing from you for the next few months.” I’d just go into a kind of light hibernation, still functioning, but really at the lowest level necessary, go to work, do the shopping on the way home, then lock myself away from the world and the cold until I had to go to work the next day. They’re good friends, they’ve always been there waiting patiently till spring rolls round. Don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve that.
Well, last Sunday I realised it was the last weekend of winter, and what a weekend it was. I worked the Saturday, but both days were sunny and warm, the nights were almost balmy, the grass is green and the trees are in bud or blossom. The world is coming alive again, and I realised not just that I’d survived another winter, but that I hadn’t spent it all hiding away. I’d actually kept in touch with my friends – more than that, I’d seen them, I’d gone out, got drunk with them, dragged myself through the rain to go to the theatre, or the cold to go to dinner.
Part of it I know is finding out that I was not the only one to get depressed in winter, and there is even a name for it. What’s more, there are simple ways to deal with it, and they work. I was feeling really good about things for a while there on Sunday.
Monday I crashed. Low, real low. A lot of reasons why, I know them all and usually I can manage them. I just haven’t quite figured out what the trigger was that let it all get to me this time. It just wasn’t winter for once.
Work didn’t help. It wouldn’t. It is after all one of the depressing aspects of my life. But usually the people there get me over that – or though it. Problem is that after months at the same desks we’ve all been moved. Of the six seats at my station two are empty, two are part-timers, and the last one usually starts half-way through my shift. I am in other words, pretty much on my own most of the day, and that’s not what you need when you’re down in the dumps and could do with a little cheering up, or at least some distraction to stop the brooding.
And this is where we finally get to the whole point of this. How ridiculously easy it is for something – or someone – to drag you back up when you’re feeling down.

Thank God for M.

Firstly because you were there, and since you went part-time we haven’t really seen that much of each other. We’ve never really socialised, and for a long time now we’ve been seated apart at work. Having you nearby again has meant I’m discovering you all over, and I’m really liking that. Liking little things that have a huge effect, like finding out you like films I do that no-else cares for. Most importantly this week you put me onto reading something, something very personal and very raw, something I got totally hooked on and have spent most of the last two days reading. Something that took me totally away from what was getting me down. It sounds a bit cliched, but something that gave me a new perspective.
Now I don’t know if you knew just what you were doing. I wouldn’t be surprised. You’re pretty perceptive. But if you did know or if you didn’t, thanks anyway. Thanks for the gift, and thanks for being you. Thanks for dragging me by the bootstraps out of the downer I was in. And if you’re feeling embarrassed reading this . . . . Tough. No apologies.
See you next week.

2005-08-25T13:55:00.000+10:00
Just some of my favourites;

Movies (as opposed to Films)
Gone With The Wind
The Wizard Of Oz
The Princess Bride
Cabaret

Favourite Singers
Nancy LaMott –I was lucky enough to see her in a benefit concert in New York months before she died, too young at 43. A warm, rich voice, and impeccable phrasing, there’s not a track she recorded that isn’t a joy to listen to.
Michael Ball – doesn’t always show the best taste in his choice of song, and definitely no taste in clothes, but if you could make love to a voice, his would be the one.
Mario Frangoulis – Greek/Italian classical cross-over who actually knows how to sing a popular song. Doesn’t hurt that he’s a bit of a hunk to boot.
Rosemary Clooney – the late and great, just sang ‘em straight and clear, no frills. My Dad’s favourite singer, and I finally cried for losing him when I saw her in concert in San Francisco and she unexpectedly sang his favourite song.

Foreign Films
All About My Mother (Spanish)
House Of Flying Daggers (Chinese)
City Of Lost Children (French) (thanks NN)
Tears of the Black Tiger (Thai)
Suryathai (Thai)

This Year’s Best Films
Latter Days
dot the i
Mr & Mrs Smith
Kung Fu Hustle

Musicals
A Little Night Music
The Secret Garden
Most Happy Fella
Cabaret
Nine

Drinks
Beer – Cascade
Scotch, single malt
Vodka (straight or martini)
Muscat (so very much better than port)

Actors (foreign)
Gael Garcia Bernal ( Bad Education, Motorcycle Diaries, dot the i)
Takeshi Kaneshira (Fallen Angels, Anna Magdalena, House of Flying Daggers)
Rodrigo Santoro (Carandiru, Love Actually)
Jesadaporn Pholdee (Dan Brierly, Iron Ladies)

Unforgettable Stage performances
Diana Rigg, Night and Day, London 1979
· A combination of skill and presence, completely dominating an otherwise forgettable play. She spent most of the play reclining upstage idly flipping through a magazine, yet somehow you looked at her a split second before she said a line, then your focus went back to the other actors.
Judi Dench, Kiss of the Gorgon, London
· Sheer unadulterated talent, based on a technique so solid I don’t think she can put a foot wrong. A difficult play, three time-frames simultaneously on stage, with Dame Judi’s character in all three at once, yet her performance never left you in any doubt where you were in the play and what was going on. Emotionally shattering at the end.
Glenn Close, Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles
· Brave, beautifully judged performance, on the brink of being over the top all the way, totally sympathetic frightening display of the decent into murder and madness.
Matthew Broderick, How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, New York
· Another almost over the top performance, beautifully based physically, the whole thing done on the balls of his toes, slightly hunched shoulders, always looking for, and grabbing any opportunity, turning a potentially unlikeable character into a charming rogue. Coincidentally co-starring as his on-stage romance, his off-stage partner Sarah Jessica Parker.
Zoe Caldwell, Masterclass, New York
· A performance that did go over the top, but only when the character would have done. The closest I can ever get to seeing Maria Callas live, but it was an evocation, not a recreation. Funny, sad, selfish, spiteful, tactless, and so very tragically alone.
Marlene Dietrich, in concert, Melbourne
· There wasn’t a look, a phrase or a gesture that wasn’t precisely planned and inalterable, not an audience reaction that could have been anything but what she intended, but something magical happened every time she did whatever it was she was doing. If ever a goddess walked on this earth . . . .

Food
Almost anything Thai
Avocado
Almost anything Chinese
Sticky Date Pudding with caramel sauce.

Places to visit
New York
My best friend’s house

Holiday destination
Jomtien Beach, Thailand
· A broad sweep of beach, deck-chairs and umbrellas. With wonderfully wicked Pattaya only10 minutes and half a world away.
Puerto Galera, Philippines
· White sand, coconut plantations, more stars in the sky than I ever thought could exist, and bamboo huts right on the beach for about $10.00 a night, waking up to kids splashing in the waves 5 metres away, chickens scratching under the floor, and nothing to do all day but eat, drink and laze around. Bliss, sheer bliss.
Waikiki, Honolulu
· Paradise. Perfect climate, stunning beach, great bars, and shopping, shopping, shopping, all that American materialism can offer.

2005-08-24T18:12:00.000+10:00
Kismet ?

I had last week off work. Planned. Nothing major to be done, basically just R & R. Part of the second R was meant to be enjoying the four DVDs I’d ordered online – two from Canada, two from Hong Kong. Orders placed after carefully working out timings based on past experience, so they should arrive during my week off.

The best-laid plans of course tend to fall in a heap. Not one of them arrived. That was OK. I dealt with it. I just raided the local DVD hire instead, and discovered one of my fave new actors Gael Garcia Bernal has a new movie out – his first English language film. Definite compensation. (The film is called “dot the i” and worth watching.)

So, back to work Monday. You’re expecting I’m going to say the DVDs were waiting when I got home, right? Wrong. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.
Tuesday, rostered day off, 10.30 AM, knock on the door. Curiously the dog doesn’t bark, just wags his tail. It’s the postman, with three parcels for me. Yep, all the DVDs, all on my day off. Not surprisingly didn’t get too far away from the TV yesterday.

Nice and neat right?
What’s really curious is that Tuesday wasn’t meant to be my RDO. I swapped it late on Monday with one of the kids at work so she could make a doctor’s appointment on Thursday.

So was it meant to be? Kismet? Fate? The Gods smiling reward on a minor good deed?
If I believed in that I’d probably say it was.
Happy coincidence more like it. I think the word I want is serendipitous. Sounds good anyway.

2005-08-22T15:03:00.000+10:00
"So here i am - my heart breaking . . . forced to glitter, forced to be gay."

Now I'd love to offer a prize to the first person who can identify the quoted lyric (just the show it's from would be enough) – Maybe I should, I’m pretty confident no-one who reads this is likely to recognise it.

Yeah, I’m back at work after my week off, in a new desk, Blog Central from the looks of it, Slim, Lollie, Mel and myself all in a bit of a bunch. Not that it will affect the amount of work done of course!

New desk means new computer, and just now realised all the old training stuff, emails etc, has stayed on my old computer. I’m seriously wondering if I want to retrieve it or not, and thereby hangs a long and sorry tale that I’m just not getting into (not yet)

But, nice to see the guys here, catch up on a bit of goss (and the best goss I can’t put in here, goddammitt.).

The week off was good, relaxing, only one seriously drunken episode (already noted), lots of movies watched, two or three books read, dog spoiled absolutely rotten with walks and attention - even got some gardening done (in between rain) and redesigned my new kitchen – twice. That makes I think 7 major variations to date. The bathroom only sits at about 5 plans – its falling behind.

Even managed to take myself out to the theatre – Judi Connelli in “Sunset Boulevard”. Not bad really, she would have benefited from a couple of weeks more rehearsal, but she sure sang the guts out of it. David Campbell stole it though – kind of nice to see the focus shift back to the Joe Gillis character, more like the film.

And now I’m back, taking the same calls, fixing the same mistakes other people have made, hearing the same lame jokes from the techs . . . . haven’t actually been abused yet. That’s something. (Did get told by a contractor that I had upset her a few weeks back – I intended too, she’d been rude and I told her. Tough if she didn’t like it. Now she’s angling for an apology as I “must be in a better mood after my time off” – boy has she got a few things to learn.)

I guess one week off, nice as it was, just ain’t enough.

2005-08-16T10:38:00.000+10:00
Monday 10.00pm
OK, I'm on holidays and you gotta love that. I admit, Melbourne in August ain't the most inspiring place to spend a week off work - it's the coldest month, and the second wettest, but it's time away from the daily grind, and it means I can go and visit friends on Sunday and Monday and drink, and that's just what I've been doing.
Yesterday was a visit to Steve, just round the corner, to try and help him set up his new computer so he can pirate DVD's. Got most of the way, but he needs some software I can lend him, and that gave me leverage to borrow a couple of his DVD's that he wasn't quite ready to let go just yet. He has this thing about watching a film he likes about five times in a row - don't understand that sort of compulsive excessive overdose myself, but hey, if he gets his jollies that way, who's to criticise.
I had my Sunday night all planned - well, an hour of it anyway watching a doco on the history of the American musical on ABC. I'm passionate enough about that particular subject to give up a whole night to one hour of TV, even on holiday time. So, getting close to time to go home and settle in front of the TV when Mel arrives. Now, this is not Melly Feline, this is Maltese Mel, the non-stop talker with the second most perfect pair of breasts I know of. Some of you I know will be wondering what the hell I'm doing mentioning the fact that someone has beautiful breasts, but, voyeuristic tendencies maybe, I like to look, I can even admire . . . . I just don't have any great desire to do anything with them. And in case you're wondering who I think has the most beautiful, well, my lips must remain sealed.
Anyway, Maltese Mel arrived - apart from the physical assets, and the fact that she has a wide variety of good-looking cousins and brothers, Mel is a non-stop talker, and one of those people who while she is a joy to be with, is quite exhausting. On top of that she does not like to take no for an answer.
Mel wanted me to go to some bar in Northcote - NORTHCOTE !!! She finally got the message that:
a/ Persons of my age and persuasion do not willingly go out without at least four hours to get ready.(We may not look any better at the end of the four hours, but we feel we do.)
and
b/ She was up against that show on the ABC that I had been waiting to see for about 18 months..

I won, didn't go out drinking, watched my show, and was ready for more serious drinking today, Monday.
Today I hopped on a train, and headed deep south to Brighton, where my oldest and dearest friend lives with his partner of 26 years. Now I reckon 26 years is a damned good effort by any standards, and they turn on good food and damned good wine, so lunch didn't finish till about 8.30 pm.
We talked and drank, and talked some more, watched bits from favourite DVDs and drank a bit more, and talked about what we'd just watched while we had another glass of wine, and sang along to a few songs then had to have another wine or two. Somehow I have managed to catch the train home, and even more surprisingly I seem to be able to be typing reasonably cohesively (and using big words like cohesively - and even spelling it the same way twice !!! )
No doubt I shall be spending tomorrow recovering from today's excessive drinking.
But isn't that what a holiday is for !

2005-08-11T16:22:00.000+10:00
Been neglecting this a bit lately. Guess it's been a bit of a busy week.Stupid day on Thurday last. Slept in - not really my fault, the power went off during the night and so neither alarm went off. Yeah, I have two, one I can reach over and belt the shit out of so I can snooze, the other one beeps annoyingly, the dog hates it and will come in and bark at it after about thirty seconds, and I can't reach it without getting out of bed, so normally I cannot sleep in.
So woke up and the alarm is flashing 12.50 at me. Took a few momets to realise it was flashing, and that meant I hadn't necessarily woken up in the middle of the night.
Turned the light on, grabbed the watch, Oh shit, gotta be out of here in 15 minutes.Stuff shaving, washed quickly, fed the dog, dressed, brushed teeth, put the dog out- shit, its raining - race to the car, bending down to keep rain off the glasses and avoid wet branches I've been meaning to cut back for weeks, open the door - ouch, slam the door hard into my head !
Bleeding - great ! Inside, cold washcloth, stop the bleeding, good, bit of a lump forming, never mind, gotta get to work.
Get there on time, just. Log in, explain to Rob what a clumsy idiot I've been - God bless him, he's concerned. Don't quite understand why. Stand up to go get the first print-outs. Oh, feel a bit wobbly there. Must have stood up too quickly. Make it to the printer, back to my desk, work a bit, gotta get up again. Feeling wobblier. Why I wonder ? Sure I have a bump on my head, but it's not hurting. An hour later find myself still wobbly, feeling strange, staring at the computer. I know I know how to do this, but just can't quite seem to remember. Figure maybe I should not be here . . . . Rob won't let me walk down the stairs. Good thinking.
Go home, feeling really stupid.Turn the TV on, daytime TV is so mindless it won't matter if I can't concentrate. Gotta do something, I seem to remember something about not going to sleep after a bang on the head . . . . hey, TV's gone off. Light's off too . . . No power. Again. And it's cold - no it's freezing in here.Wind up wrapped up in a blanket to keep warm, can't concentrate to read. Dog has snuggled up with me on the couch,very cosy but I shouldn't fall asleep, should I ? No music cos there's no power, no heater, no electric jug so no coffee. Why do I have an all-electric house ??? Should I go out and boil water on the BBQ? No, it's raining, remember. Oh, and the gas bottle's empty anyway.
45 minutes later all is well, power is on. Great start to the day.

2005-08-01T14:23:00.000+10:00
Split Weeks and Monday Mornings

The one-day weekend sucks. Obviously you're not really in the mood to spend the whole day doing all those domestic things that really need to be done, and spending the day indulging yourself is much more appealing, (not to mention essential to one's well-being) so I didn't do the washing or the vacuuming, I didn't mow the lawns, and I most certainly didn't weed the garden.
I did watch a movie, took the dog for a long walk in the sun (beautiful day), and generally lazed around. (I did do the dishes - that one I can't ignore.)
The result ? While I am feeling quite rested, and I'm actually not in my usual Monday bad-mood, there is a nagging feeling of guilt that I didn't do any of those tasks on the "weekend." Also there is the fear that I just may run out of clean socks. The guilt I'm used to, instilled in me at an early age, it is a permanent part of my life. It just doesn't feel right if I'm not feeling guilty, and there doesn' t have to be anything to attach that guilt to. Such is the lot of the gay son of a jewish mother.
The socks however is a very real fear. Irrational, and easily resolved, but having something like that to worry about is much better than worrying about the big things - like how do I pay the phone bill and put petrol in the car this week. . . .

2005-07-26T20:54:00.000+10:00
Lights are bright,
Pianos making music all the night,
And they pour champagne
Just like it was rain.
Its a sight to see,
But I wonder what became of me.

Crowds go by,
That merry-making laughter in their eyes,
And the laughter's fine
But I wonder what became of mine.

Life's sweet as honey,
And yet its funny,
I get a feeling that I can't analyse.
It's like, well maybe,
Like when a baby
Sees a bubble burst before its eyes.

Oh I've had my flings,
I've been around and seen most everything.
But I can't be gay,
For along the way
Something went astray,
And I can't explain,
Its the same champagne,
Its a sight to see,
But I wonder what became of me.

lyric by E."Yip" Harburg

That's the song I was thinking of when I named this. Guess I wasn't thinking too clearly cos I didn't exactly quote it very accurately.
There was going to be a sub-title too - along the lines of "Or - How Did I Wind Up In A Call-Centre?"
How indeed. This was meant to be a fill-in job, just to keep me fed, clothed and sheltered until I found a "real" job.That was 6 1/2 years ago. Sad really, for quite a while there this was possibly the best job I'd ever had, interesting, exciting new company, treated you well, and an amazingly great bunch of people to work with.Some of the people are still great........ 'Nuff said.

2005-07-23T10:42:00.000+10:00
First post and I know I picked a bit of a depressing title for the page (I had to think fast) but I didn't (don't) intend this to be depressing, but as things turn out the first thing that's come up that I feel like mentioning is someting that's just happend and makes me feel a bit sad. (And yeah, I know, I write long sentences, there'll be worse ones comng I'm sure.)
One of my best friends is one of the things that keeps me sane. I guess that's one of the things best friends do. His emails throughout the day at work keep me going . Getting drunk together far too quickly on white wine while watching Spanish and Thai movies or picking the Eurovision clips to pieces - highlights of the weekend. Swapping DVDs, travelling together - being dragged through teh outlet stores in Hawaii, or dragging him through the bars in Bangkok - giving me the only nick-name I've ever allowed , spoiling my dog with Cheezels and biscuit bones when he comes over for champagne cocktails- love him for all of it.
Now I know it desn't mean all of that is going to stop, but he emailed me at work yesterday to tell me his work is moving him the Sydney. 1,000 km away. I felt like someone close to me had died. Then I just wanted to abuse him for deserting me. Now I realise I'm just going to miss not having him around. Going to miss that terribly.